Californication Quotes

Becca: We used protection! He had a condom in his wallet that he said had been there since high school. It wasn’t love and it wasn’t…

Mia: That’s the thing about secrets, Hank, they have a funny way of coming out.

Charlie: She’s a cocktail waitress with a screenplay. Ok.. an idea for a screen play, but still, I see potential and I just – Marcy: Oh…

Becca: So overall you would recommend the experience of sleeping with your teacher?

Charlie: You actually did offer me the ass one time, right here in this very living room. Marcy: What was I thinking? Dr. Drew says you…

Marcy; Remember the kitchen counter encounter? Charlie: Best night of my life! Marcy: Not mine! Days later I was still finding crumbs in…

Marcy: Why did I let you sit on the sink? The chick is supposed to sit on the sink! That’s bathroom boning 101!

Hank: There’s no reason you should let a professional misstep get in the way of some quality sixty-nining.

Charlie: No matter what they say, bitches don’t like it when you fuck other bitches. Hank: Word.

Hank: I think that ultimately they’ll have to raise the white flag and just accept us for the emotional retards that we are, don’t you…