Californication Quotes

Sue: You’re Runkle, you’d whack it to a cat dancing on YouTube.

Hank: I do some of my best work from the bottom. You know why? Hands free – it’s like sexual blue tooth.

Hank: To our beautiful family, our black President, and my magnificent dong.

Hank: Entertainment for the poor, that’s what my mother always called children.

Hank: You look like America’s next top smurf.

Rick Springfield: I made a girl come seven times once. Marcy: Over the course of an entire relationship?

Hank: What are you doing moping in the fridge, 80’s pop legend Rick Springfield is stealing your girl – not Jesse’s girl – Runkle’s girl.

Sue: To you the glass is always half empty! Charlie: Right now my wife is half full or Rick Springfield.

Becca: Do you know what it’s like to have no one and nothing, how totally awful that feels? Hank: Yes, I think I do. Once upon a time I…

Karen: I like you like this. Hank: What, all defeated and shit? Karen: Yes!