Californication Quotes

Charlie: Like your dream crush now, Marcy? Marcy: It’s like watching a figure skater fall.

Hank: That’s unfair! To say nothing if bad for my prostate – skypus interruptus!

Jackie: No more grinding up on middle-aged hard-ons for me, except for yours of course.

Rick Springfield: Nothing like the sound of a stripper’s head on a hard-wood floor. Hank: What the fuck is wrong with you? Rick: What, oh…

Felicia: That was some very intense and powerful love-making. Hank: Not a big fan of that term: love-making – making love. I prefer…

Stacey: You obviously have this thing with women, some very strong connection, that no matter what you do, no matter how big of an ass…

Felicia: Do you really think a woman wants to go down on a man who just walked in off the tennis courts? Or just came in from a ride?…

Becca: I’m not mad at you. You wouldn’t get mad at a big dumb dog for shitting on the rug, would you?

Becca: Actually Dad, yes, this house is a bordello, because that’s how it’s run by you.

Sue: When you started, I thought, my god this man has diarrhea of the mouth and there is no Kaopectate in sight.