Californication Quotes

Jackie: Writing is just a – a pipe dream. You can’t really make a living doing something like that. Actually, that’s how you end up…

Jackie: Are you ok? Hank: No, I just got my ass kicked by a J-crew catalog – I’m not OK.

Hank: This is frowned upon. Jackie: Give me a break. You once spent an entire class ranting about how much you hate Coldplay. Something…

Hank: You still love me? Karen: Always, that’s the problem.

Hank: Do we think the ladies have gone too far with the sex positive feminism? I mean I know they’re all down with the pornography and…

Hank: Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m going to have to report you – for giving me a serious boner.

Hank: She’s not much one for chatting – texting, yes – twittering, tweeting, twatting, staring solemnly at the old man.

Hank: You ladies really are the most amazing creatures – my life’s work. But then there’s the morning after – the hangover, the…

Hank: You know maybe if you just relaxed for half a second, and stopped looking so hard for the appropriate life mate, then you might…

Becca: Sometimes I think I’d be happy to stay a virgin forever. Seems like once you get laid – Chelsea: Your life basically turns to shit?