Californication Quotes

Marcy: Charlie? Charlie Runkle? Are you inside that woman?

Hank: We’re 100% sure she’s a 100% woman, right?

Hank: At least I’m not tucking my dong in class, not with my pants off anyway. Felicia: Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar yet?

Hank: I am saying that if you can do anything else with your life right now, anything at all, I think maybe you should do that the world…

Charlie: If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper.

Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue? Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride.

Marcie: What are you thinking? Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you’d be…

Hank: Wait a second…you guys are stoned! Becca: Dad, please! Hank: Tell me where you got the weed, I will kill the motherf***er, tell…

Charlie: I’ve been collecting passes all morning. it’s too long, it’s too self-indulgent, it’s too hateful, too misogynistic, it’s too…

Marcy: It’s been sitting on the market for months now, Charlie, it’s not selling. Charlie: Well, maybe if you weren’t too busy bringing…