Desperate Housewives Quotes

Carlos: It’s business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives. Gabrielle: Every time I’m around that man, he tries to grab my ass….

Carlos: At the Donahue party everyone was talking mutual funds, and you found a way to mention you slept with half of the Yankee…

Rex: Since when do you make mistakes? Bree: What’s that supposed to mean? Rex: It means I’m sick of you being so damn perfect all the…

Susan: I have a clog. Mike: Excuse me? Susan: And you’re a plumber, right? Mike: Yeah. Susan: The clog’s in the pipe. Mike: Yeah, that’s…

Susan: Oh, I wouldn’t eat that if I were you. Mike: Why? Susan: I made it, trust me. Hey, hey, do you have a death wish? Mike: No, I just…

Julie: Ugh, you need to get back out there. Come on. How long has it been since you’ve had sex? Are you mad that I asked you that? Susan:…

Julie: Stop being so nervous, you’re just asking him out to dinner. It’s no big deal. Susan: You’re right… So, is that your project for…

Susan: I can’t believe it. This can’t be happening. Mike can’t like Edie better than me, he just can’t! Julie: You don’t know what’s…

Julie: Mom, why would someone kill themselves? Susan: Well, sometimes people are so unhappy, they think that’s the only way they can…

Rex: Are we gonna talk about what I said? Bree: If you think I’m gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the…