Desperate Housewives Quotes

Paul [about Mary Alice]: I don’t care what her reasons were. Maybe she was depressed. Maybe she was bored. It doesn’t matter. She…

Mike: Actually, he was my wife’s dog and one of the last things she said to me in the hospital before she died was to be sure I looked…

Rex: I can’t believe you tried to kill me. Bree: Yes, well, I feel badly about that

Mary Alice: My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning’s paper you may come across an article about the unusual day I had…

Gabrielle: This table is hand carved, Carlos had it imported from Italy. It cost him $22,000. John: So, you wanna do it on the table this…

Gabrielle: It’s like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn’t have a conscience. Lynette: Even the limp ones aren’t that ethical

Susan: How would you feel if I used your child support payments for plastic surgery? Julie: You look fine. Susan: If you could cut back…

John: So, why are we here? Why are we doing this? Gabrielle: Because I don’t want to wake up one morning with the sudden urge to blow my…

Danielle: Why can’t we ever have normal soup? Bree: Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree

Andrew: I’m saying, do you always have to serve cuisine? Can’t we ever just have food? Bree: Are you doing drugs? Andrew: What? Bree:…