Desperate Housewives Quotes

Renee: And that is how you get out of paying for a taxi! Susan: Well, we weren’t in a taxi – we were in my car. But now I know why you…

Renee: I haven’t celebrated my birthday since the third time I turned 28!

Lynette: Tom’s packing! We’re talking big—circus big! So big that he can drive in the carpool lane when he’s alone! If it falls in the…

Susan [to Lynette]: How come you never told us you were sleeping with Tommy Tripod?

Renee: People used to say I’m a beautiful woman, now they say I’m a beautiful woman for my age.

Keith’s mother: I promise to be on my best behavior. Bree: I know you will. Because, as Keith told you, I have guns.

Gaby [on Carlos]: He’s not going to give up these chimichangas, for a plate of frank and beans.

Gaby [to Lee]: Use the back door. Lee: I always do.

Mrs. McCluskey: Just for the record, I love football. The Stooges are damn funny. And I’ve never asked a man to stop.

Bree: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the kitchen to ask if I can stand in their walk-in freezer.