Desperate Housewives Quotes

Gabrielle: I’ve read the Constitution, and it does not protect ugly people!

Bree: Tonight was a very unusual situation. I wish you could’ve known me when Rex was alive and my kids were young and everything was the…

Dr Ron: You committed insurance fraud?? Susan: Only in the legal sense….

Peter: Your son threatened you with repressed memories? Oh, my god, he is seriously twisted. I gotta meet this kid. Bree: You sound like…

Karl: So how did you get out of that one? Susan: Well I lied and told him I didn’t know a Mike Karl: Everyone knows a Mike…

Bree: Well, I’m still appalled that you’re helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and…

Susan: I need you to ditch Edie tomorrow night and have dinner with Dr. Ron and me…. Karl: Now why would I do that? Susan: Well for…

Bree: Is this Libby’s real hair color? Gabrielle: Yes, it’s all natural, from her straight teeth to her C cup. And I know she’s athletic…

Susan: I don’t even know a Mike… Dr Ron: Everyone knows a Mike! Susan: Yes you’re right…everyone does know a Mike…

Gabrielle: These can’t be our only choices, Mr. Beale, I mean, come on! Each girl is uglier than the next! Beale: Look, finding a…