Eastbound & Down Quotes

Kenny: Just like Neil Armstrong, I went to space, and now I’m back and nobody gives a shit.

Kenny: I need you to score me some juice. Clegg: What do you mean? Like from the store. Kenny: No, you idiot. Steroids!

Kenny: So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high…

Kenny: What are you looking at? Paper Boy: Your hair asshole. Kenny: Yeah, nice job making three bucks a week dipshit. Sell weed and…

Kenny: If there’s one thing I hate it’s losing. If there’s two things I hate it’s losing and getting cancer.

Kenny: Man, this feels good Clegg. Clegg: Did you take one of those black beauties? The ecstasy? Kenny: Nah dude. This is a real job….

Ashley: I don’t want to be embarrassed. Kenny: Well, you’re doing a good job of that on your own just by how you fucking look.

Kenny: I thought Ashley Schaeffer was gonna be a woman. Ashley: I love women, so I’ll take that as a compliment.

Terrence: You want a smoothie? Kenny: No, I’m straight.

Interviewer: So Kenny, how do you feel about playing for New York? Kenny: You mean Jew York? It’s fucking great.