Eastbound & Down Quotes

Kid in Gym Class: My dad said you ruined baseball. Kenny Powers: You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m…

Kenny: (To his hired date) I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that.

Stevie: Terrence, I don’t teach you how to principal I don’t think you should tell me how to teach band. Terrence: You clearly don’t…

Kenny: Did you get my shit? (Clegg hands a bag to Kenny) Kenny: Why is it in a fucking zip-lock bag? What is this mushrooms? Clegg, I’m…

Kenny: (To Wayne) I know deep within you there’s a humongous set of testicles just waiting to drop down.

Kenny: (To Rose) I’m sorry we didn’t get a lot of time to hang out. I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I forgot you even existed.

Kenny: You know how you think there’s two kinds of lesbians: the really hot ones that are on Cinemax and get it on all the time, and then…

Kenny: Who the fuck are you? Pat: I’m your dad. No, I’m just kidding, your dad’s dead.

Reg: (To Kenny) You just look like a vagina with a mullet.

(After separating two girls from fighting) Kenny: You wanna fight do it on your own time, in a parking lot somewhere, not in a school…