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After getting a DUI, Brian is forced to care for a bitter old woman that used to be a jingle singer.  When Brian discovers her hidden opera talent, he tries to brighten her final days.  Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard and discovers a family of rare swallows living in it.

Family Guy
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Family Guy Season 3 Episode 17 Quotes

Stewie: Ah-hah! So they do make bigger diapers. That deceitful woman told me I'd have to learn to use the toilet! Well, fie on the toilet! It's made slaves of you all. I've seen it sitting in there: lazy, slothful, porcelain lay-about, feeding on other people's doo doos while contributing nothing of its own to society. You get a job!

Pearl: What is this, spit soup?
Brian: Tomato bisque.
Pearl: What is this, snot soup?
Brian: Tomato bisque.
Pearl: What is this, diarrhea soup?