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Jo is having a horrible fight with her husband and her language is angering Abby in front of Lilly and Charlie. 

Gordon and Delia are getting ready for their mornings. When he learns what his soon-to-be ex threatened, he says screw her. Delia isn't impressed. In fact, if he thinks he's going to pay for her life after ruining her career, he can think again.

Abby gets a call about her pitch which Huff-Po has turned into ten wacky loser dates in ten days. She doesn't want to do that, she wants to be authentic. Jo tells her she can be authentic when she gets her own column then does a little soft toe singing about bullshit.

Max and Ford decide to sit at a table with scotch, not leaving the table until they agree upon... something.

Abby meets with Delia about her divorce. They're talking $5000 in spousal support and $5000 in child support. She assures Abby child support isn't going to change but they may be able to negotiate the spousal support. The numbers were generated by the system the state uses to determine these things. The disso system.

After suggesting Abby use Will for one of her 10 dates, Phoebe admits she is seeing a life coach she calls "Doom Face" and she's on a mancation until she finds her own path. Then she realizes she lost her kids ("She has kid?" Jo wonders) and immediately sees a man that makes her salivate in the produce area of the market. He works with recovering addicts, giving them life skills. 

Phoebe decides to volunteer. She's not into him like that. He's interesting and does good and she can learn from him.

Jo calls Will the "Hot embryo." As she's photographing her vajayjay, Zoe arrives. She's the polar opposite of her mother. Holy moly!

Jake shows up to collect the kids just as Abby is getting ready for her first date. She looks amazing. Her date asks if she wants a regular boring date or an adventure date. Up next? They're jumping out of a plane.

Abby, Jo and Delia are getting "groomed" but not bald. The date was a stunt man who said he had broken every bone in his body at least once except his penis. Whoa!

Phoebe's volunteering doesn't go very well. When her back seizes, she won't push forward. She offers money for his crops and Marco says he'll take it as long as she never comes back. 

Max and Ford discuss open marriage. It's a total cliche and I do not like it at all.

Abby is on her dates-a-go-go. One guy is even blind. Or... not. He's dressed up because it's a "blind date." Another just needs a new mom for his four children.

Mr. Bow-tie is a dad at school. A married dad. He and Abby talk about his marriage and how miserable he is. Abby wonders who is to day what's the worst for kids, divorce or two miserable parents?

As soon as it's granted, Ford takes advantage of his "hall pass."

Gordon tells Delia he slept with his wife to get her to agree to a 50/50 split and she tells him what an idiot he is. She had already won without prostituting herself. His wife used him to get back at Delia.

One of her dates is someone both Abby and Jo know. As they wait for him, Abby can't believe Jo let Zoe go to Santa Monica alone. When the guy gets there, Jo and him reminisce like crazy and then Abby leaves for her date with Will.

When Abby and Will see each other there isn't any talking, just kissing and then a very hot sex scene. She tells him he's so tan. After they're done, Abby asks him to stay by accepting his offer to cook. They hear a crash and go to the living room to find Jo screwing that guy on her couch. He says it's a great couch.

This leads to a huge argument. Abby says this is awful even for her. They argue over their kids and Abby kicks her out. Jo said they'll go back home because she has a husband who still wants and loves her.

Max will probably use his hall pass.

Will gives to Abby a book he's been writing about his trip up Everest. She's nervous about it. What if she doesn't like it? He wonders if she'll be comfortable passing it on to her editor. Abby suddenly thinks he's interested in her for that.

Only Phoebe has faith in Will. Abby says he thinks of her as an old chick to help her with his career and Delia thinks he's taking advantage of her and using her.

Delia fell in love with Gordon. He hates love.

Abby and Jo talk it out. Zoe wants to stay. Abby says nobody wants to get divorced but once you step into the new world and find out how good you can feel, it can make all the difference.

Phoebe goes back to the Homegrown Urban Farm. She's in recovery, too, from being a silly, superficial chick.  It's her turn for a second chance.

Abby's story is "Why aren't you divorced yet?" 

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
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Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 1 Episode 9 Quotes

You can be authentic when you get your own column. In the meantime, bullshit. [and sing it with jazz hands]


Abby: That is terrifying and racist all at the same time. That's impressive.
Jo: I try my best.