Abby is having a dream about having sex with Will and he's telling her she makes the earth move. She wakes up to an earthquake. 

During the earthquake, Jo was outside, naked, running around screaming and calling 911.

Zooey has an interview for school and will be shadowing Lilly.

Ford and Max are getting ready for work and Max doesn't want to talk about the trip to Texas.

At school, everyone wants to know about the Tinder penis bow tie guy. Jo goes nuts on them.

Phoebe does a business plan to expand Marco's homegrown business. He doesn't want to take corporate money. 

Jo learns she's cash poor, largely due to her stud farm. Six horses, apparently.

Abby is offered editor at large, Huff-Po, Divorce.

At home, Jake's there with Lilly. She's being bullied. She's on the school's slut list. Jake blames Abby, unfairly.

Abby and Jo chat and Abby worries about putting Lilly on the slut list with her writing.

Phoebe and Marco put on a great presentation and then Phoebe kisses him.

Ford is trying to find Max. All of a sudden this open marriage doesn't look so cute.

Abby, Jake and Lilly are at Nate's house to confront his family since his daughter created the slut list.

Jo discovers Zooey will not be "accommodated" thanks to the board.

Abby wants a teachable moment about sluts, but Nate's wife is not going to let it go. Miraculously, Jake steps in and defends Abby. Then they go of on an entire metaphorical discussion about movies to discuss sleeping together and whether it constitutes a slut.

The guy Max kissed is someone both of them knew, and they broke the rules. 

Jo's husband? A polygamist. He's married to a woman named Charlene. As they're getting ready to drink, another quake strikes.

Jo freaks, calling where they live the hellmouth. She's expecting something biblical like locusts or disease. The electricity is out and Charlie is scared. The prepare to build a fort.

Abby decides there won't be anymore HuffPo articles if she's going to use them to destroy her daughter's life. 

Delia jumps into the tent with Charlie and wonders about the smell. Chad's farts, he says. 

Jake comes over check on them because he's worried about Charlie being afraid of the dark. A minute after he gets there the lights turn on. Charlie wants him to get into the tent with him and Abby says his dad's not staying. Jake looks devastated.

Abby settles in to read Will's book when Lilly comes in to confess. She put herself on the slut list. She wants boys to like her, so she put herself on it.

Lilly thinks she should write the column because she shouldn't be slut shamed.

Phoebe goes to see Marco, apologizes and gives him good news about the signage for the pilot project. 

Jo sold a horse and bought Lilly's way into the school. She sold two more and pocketed the cash.

Delia decides not to go on vacation with Gordon.

Abby goes to Will's. She gives him his book. It's phenomenal. He's talented and she's been an ass. Douchey, immature and panicky. Clearly she doesn't see herself through his eyes because if she did, she wouldn't act like such an idiot.