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Recap

Abby is on Today with Hoda and Kathie Lee. They are nice enough to bring up all of the terrible things she did in her past, and that's when we know it's a dream.

Jake drops by with the baby. He's taking Becca's baby to Safe Surrender at the firehouse. Instead, Abby takes the baby and suggests valium, tea and a shave. She needs baby head in her life.

Phoebe and JD are living with their new marriage and Delia was staying there, but is horribly depressed. It's only been four days.

Jo is playing a video over Frumkis' face.

At the restaurant, the ladies are all lamenting their lives. They're all being perceptive, tired, bold, and the baby is crying.

When Abby needs a sitter, Delia raises her hand.

At the office, Abby goes over her divorce pitch, and she can't lie about her life anymore. She wants to be a leader for her generation. So she leads her box of belongings out of the building.

Jo and Scott have sex all over the bakery, but he wants more. She doesn't.

Barbara cannot believe dude fired Abby. She's seen the research. Suddenly, she's the new merry divorcee.

Delia needs her wine, so she puts the baby into the sink while she grabs it. She's sure the baby hates brownish people.

Delia didn't even ask who sent the pictures to Gordon, let alone ask Albert. She'd rather move 3000 miles than ask.

Abby realizes the baby has a fever, even though to Delia he's normal.

At the hospital, Abby realizes she's having a hot flash after the doc feels the heat radiating off of her.

Delia visits Albert. He wants her, but not enough to explode his own life like he did hers.

Barbara and Abby reconnect at the goddess party. There is no wine, but Phoebe really wants everyone to take everything seriously.

So, right in the middle of the service, the "everything happens for a reason" phrase really kicks Abby in the ass.

The ladies have a lot of fun with what's going down with the goddess party, and Phoebe wants to try to make them happy. But that's not how they work.

When Abby hears Phoebe say they should be happy and make decisions, not allow life to happen to them, she decides Becca isn't ready for a baby but she and Jake are.

Jake says she's nuts and they're divorced. And they're not going to see a lot of each other anyway, because he's got a job in Vancouver.

Jo kicks Frump out.

Phoebe gets her last alimony payment from Ralf and admit to JD she didn't think it through when they got married. She was getting $40k a month.

Becca comes to get the baby. Saying goodbye is like the end of more than only that chapter.

Jo goes to the bakery and asks Scott if he wants to join her for a coffee.

Delia goes back to work with nothing but terrible words for Albert. He gets hard as a rock. She wants his head on a spike, but he wants another head somewhere else completely.

Jake wants Abby to take a break. As her un-husband, he wants her to benefit from his ability to take care of her for a change. She takes all of her work appointments out of her calendar and closes her laptop with a sly smile.

Show:
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
Season:
Episode Number:
1

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

You know you have a unique way of making me feel like a dildo with a person attached.

Scott

Hey little baby. Want to watch Aunty Delia drink? [big smile] Just kidding.

Delia