Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1 Review: When One Door Opens, They're an Icy Draft

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It feels so good to have our friends back.

It was hard trying to figure out what was coming our way this season, but on Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1 it all became clear.

Clear for one episode, anyway. After that clarity, everything was thrust into the air again, and Abby and friends are once again ready for a fresh start.

Not Our Baby - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

I'll admit the photos with Becca's baby threw me off a bit. Given what we witnessed at the end of Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 2, I was really expecting a six month time jump. 

Instead, we picked up just four days or so after the finale, making things a lot less dramatic than the photos made things appear.

For instance, Abby and Jake are not raising the baby together. Yet after four days of sharing the little guy and a lot of other emotional turmoil, Abby was ready to give it a go.

Thankfully, Jake had gotten the call for a job in Vancouver and gently reminded Abby that not only are they divorced, but they've lived their entire adult lives waiting for their child-rearing days together to be over.

They didn't get divorced so they could raise a child that wasn't even theirs as a non-married couple. Yes, Abby is still having problems with being divorced, but she and Jake have never been conventional. They will remain closer than even those who continue to be married.

Another Conversation - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1

Abby, anything good that's happening to me is happening because you supported both of us while I figured my shit out.

Jake

I love that Jake is going to care for the family now, giving Abby a break to figure out what she wants to do with her life.

Because her stint at SheShe is over. Thank God. They didn't want to listen to her needs, and we watched how hard she struggled to fit into the mold they had created for her. Dating as a divorcee was great, but she wasn't the gay divorcee, playing the field in delightful glee, that they wanted.

She dated her ex, almost reunited, was hung up on the men she dated, wanted love, wanted affection on top of sex. She was still just a girl who wanted to be seen by a boy and all the wise and witty words in the thesaurus didn't change who she was to who they wanted her to be.

And oh my gosh. Poor Phoebe. 

She's always been sort of the odd girl out because she's younger and was being taken care of by an older man who thought the sun rose and set on her. 

When she saw her friends struggling while she was basking in the new happiness of being married to JD, she just wanted to try to give to them some of the joy she was feeling inside of herself. 

But if she knew her friends as well as she thought, she would have also known they'd giggle and scoff their way through a goddess party. And doing so was in no way intended to be an insult to her power as a goddess or a hostess.

Pointed Finger - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1

Things didn't get off to the best start because seeing Barbara meant Abby had to relive being fired. After all, Barbara now has Abby's job. And she deserves it. She's learned a lot.

But Abby reliving that moment meant she was going to drudge up visiting the doctor's office and recalling the fact she's no longer relevant to breath air upon this earth.

Abby: Estrogen patches.
Doctor: Come on now, don't look so grim. People just weren't meant to live this long.

So when they all got into their goddess circle (without booze...what a kicker), when Phoebe was as wrapped up into goddess mode as she could possibly be, Abby just cracked.

And, frankly, it was beautiful.

Abby: I am just not an "everything happens for a reason" kind of gal. It's just all that kind of talk is kind of insane. Ha ha. No offense.
Phoebe. No. None takes. [laughs]
Abby: By that logic, genocide happens for what? Or when a kid dies of cancer? What is the lesson there? That watching a kid suffering of cancer is awful?
Jo: Wow. Bad day, Abs?
Abby: Aaaghh. It's just what we want to believe when the truth is we are all just blobs of sentient plasma sharing time on a big, cold space rock. We are born, we age, we outlive our usefulness, and then we die. And there is no little patch of estrogen that is going to save us from the ultimate futility of our existence.
Barbara: Might want to bust out the wine, Phoebs.

Because when you have a day like Abby had, those are the things that swirl around your mind. You aren't thinking about things happening for a reason, and if you are, look out, because there's going to be finger pointing.

Broken Ring - Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1

The relief of breaking the chain, diving into wine and having a good time overcame everyone but Phobe. She was really put out over what happened.

Which is a shame, because is she would have paid attention, she would have realized that the talking that came after her goddess ring was what she was aiming at anyway.

Jo finally opened up about Scott, and even though she thought she was being really cool screwing the bejesus out of him all over the bakery (really, do neither of them consider that a health hazard?), Barbara set her straight.

Barbara had a way of speaking to Jo in Jo's language. She didn't make it too serious, but pointed out Scott is a person with feelings, too, and messing with them would mess up everything.

Jo heard her, because not only did she tell Frumkis to get the hell off of her couch, but her next encounter with Scott was, begrudgingly, a little different.

Scott: My goodness. Is this you making an effort, Josephine?
Jo: Well, I didn't come here to bang you and take off. That would be tacky. I came here to talk to you and then bang you and then take off.
Scott: I can accept that.

Thank God they kept Scott on GG2D. And thank God Jo is not going full bore back into crazy Jo mode and turning him off. We all remember those beautiful moments they shared that she's only forgetting because Frumkis is hanging around. 

He's a waste and no good for our Jo.

Delia's been a mess, of course, but she's also very strong. Living temporarily with Phoebe and JD in their wedded bliss seemed like a really bad move under the circumstances.

She finally got the nerve to confront Albert to see if was the one who sent the photos to Gordon. Of course he was. The only problem with Albert is his unwillingness to upend his entire life in the same way he did Delia's to prove his...

I don't know what Albert has for Delia. Obsession? At the very least, he knew she didn't want to marry Gordon. We all knew she didn't want to marry Gordon and doing it would have been a huge mistake.

But if Albert is going to stomp around feeling good about the way he did it, he needs to step back and wonder why he's still married. He talks about how turned on he is and promises Delia the world, talking about their future children...but won't toss his marriage down the drain.

Not cool, Albert. Not cool.

Their work scenes together are going to be crazy, though, so that is something to look forward to as their relationship plays out.

And just when Phoebe thought she was thrilled to be married and alive, she received her final alimony check from Ralf ($40k per month?!) mumbling, "I didn't think through marrying you." 

I hope she bought her house with cash, otherwise that blissful love story and her goddess-like happiness is about to take a completely different turn.

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce is back and more relevant than ever. It's sexy, powerful, emotional and funny and reminds us why females form such strong, unrelenting bonds with each other.

I'll follow these ladies wherever they want to go, and we now have a start to a season that is wide open and starting with fresh storylines for everyone. Let the fun begin!

If you have missed any of their origin stories, watch Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce online and relive the magic. You won't be sorry.

Rule #43: When One Door Opens, They're an Icy Draft Review

Editor Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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Rating: 3.8 / 5.0 (5 Votes)

Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

You know you have a unique way of making me feel like a dildo with a person attached.

Scott

Hey little baby. Want to watch Aunty Delia drink? [big smile] Just kidding.

Delia