The Cheers theme song over Harry's montage in Patience is something we never knew we needed, complete with a wife and alien baby.
Of course, it ended as a bit of a nightmare in which all of it ends spectacularly ugly, but it was still worth it.
Harry is enraged at the continuing disruption outside of his house, and when he confronts Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv about it, he makes a joke! He can hardly believe it!
He can't believe humans gather together to eat. What a lonely species. Ben asks him over for dinner to make Max more comfortable in his presence. Ben won't take Harry's no for an answer before or after he gives it.
D'Arcy thinks it's a little early to do drugs, but she's down. Asta has the pills from the night before. D'Arcy says, uh, Jay. Asta disagrees. They have decades' worth of dumb shit to use against each other.
Harry asks Asta to go to the dinner with him so he can sit alone while she talks. But she's busy, so D'Arcy offers herself. Thank goodness she's free from 5 to midnight. He says he wasn't going to pay her because it would make her a prostitute.
Asta asks Jay about the pills. Harry wonders why she even asked. Statistically speaking, it was Jay.
Max arrives home to learn about their dinner engagement by way of cookies and milk. He thinks it's a chat about divorce. After all, love is fleeting. the dinner is far worse than a divorce.
Max calls Sahar. His life is over, so he's taking off. Sahar thinks it's great news. They can get into his cabin!
Harry looks like he's being dragged to his death walking up to Ben's door. Max hugs him so that he can steal Harry's keys from his pocket.
Without any keys at the ready, the kids devise a new plan while D'Arcy snuggles with Harry against his will.
Harry uses everything he knows about New York City from Law & Order and Sex and the City to make conversation about his supposed home.
D'Arcy knows less about children than even I do. Is he 13? Oh, nine? Kindergarten. Nope. Benny was D'Arcy's first kiss. Kate thinks that's interesting. D'Arcy says that technically, they never broke up.
Liv notes that Mike cut in front of Sahar. To keep herself on the down low, Sahar says she's embarrassed about buying tampons and doesn't want to talk. Mike collects tiny cars like the 65 Mustang he has in his hands.
Kate thinks it's weird that Ben never mentioned he made out with D'Arcy in the fifth grade. It's made worse that D'Arcy reminds Ben of their dreams in that house. Uh oh.
Harry tries taunting Max with tales of eating his dead body, but Max has not a care in the world.
D'Arcy is out of wine, and Kate wants usher them right out of the house in light of the evening's reveals. Max wants them to be impressed with his solar system, and it elicits odd conversation and laughs from Harry.
Sahar is riding her bike like the Elliott from ET.
Harry leaves with his bananas and cookies. Harry has his first kiss, and it's pretty clear you cannot learn to kiss by watching Law & order. He also didn't learn about hard-ons!
Asta's dad asks about giving Grandma Ruth a shot like she used to get. A doctor needs to do that, and luckily, Harry is free. They all head to do it.
Harry learns that you can be with other humans and still feel alone. He thought it was happiness welling up inside him, but he just had to pee.
The two people hunting Harry have orders from a general to find and return the alien. They're right beside Harry, quite literally, as the guy pees beside Harry, who asks if he shivers when he pees.
It's a birthday party on the Ute Reservation.
The more ornery Harry is, the more people like him. He's welcomed from every direction. It feels good.
Sheriff Mike pulls over Sahar and Max who took a left turn without using their hand signals. He cusses at them, Sahar retorts well, and Sheriff Mike thinks it's cool they're outside playing and without their faces staring at screens while stuck in the house.
Liv is questioning whether she deserves to exist. The day D'Arcy was skiing for the gold medal, she was right in that spot at the bar with the rest of town cheering on D'Arcy. D'Arcy apologizes for only bringing back a shattered leg. Liv says she's one fo the best damn skiiers ever to come out of Colorado. D'Arcy often forgets she did anything. D'Arcy had the world cheering for her, and Liv just needs one person. Sheriff Mike makes her feel so dumb.
D'Arcy wants her to stand up to Sheriff Mike. She's the best cop, the only one people ever want to see.
Harry does really well with Ruth, who thinks he's here to do really good things. Ruth wants Asta to have a baby of her own. Then Harry announces to the room that Asta already has a daughter. It's Jay. They have the same facial structure, eat like crazy, and run out of room when they get emotional.
Asta's sister finds her in a pen. Asta kept a really big secret and it's going to hurt a lot of people when it comes out. Her sister admires how Asta put Jay's needs above her own. That's exactly what a mother does.
Harry is eating birthday cake when he inadvertently gets in on a game of hoops. Damn. Alan Tudyk is a genius with physical comedy.
The kids reach Harry's cabin, weirdly putting their bikes inside. They have tinfoil caps for their protection.
The only thing in Harry's fridge is milk.
Asta had her entire youth all wrong. Dan never wanted her to leave. He wanted her to have the baby. He hated Jimmy and how he treated her. They would have all been there for Asta if she'd chosen to have Jay. But her guilt at not being Dan's and his raising her as his own.
Max and Sahar find the floating apple in Harry's basement. When Sahar grabs it, they're electrocuted and tossed across the room.
Harry is having a blast. Hoop! Hoop! He screams until he cannot do it anymore. Done. Tired. Overheating. Is this how it ends? He feels closer to his home planet than ever, like a single string could pull him up from the chest into the sky.
Asta and Harry lay in the hay together, looking at the sky. She talks about the stars, but he wonders if he's supposed to apologize. But it's OK. He did her a favor. Harry admits he misses home. His wife died, and he took a job that brought him here, but he wants to go home. He belongs there. NOW he thinks it's sad.
Harry understands why humans like to be together.
Liv adds the doorknob to evidence.
Harry arrives home to bikes in the kitchen. When he sees them on the floor, he knows what happened. Feeling for pulses, he's bummed that they're still alive.
He puts them into gabs and carries them upstairs. There is a woman in the living room. She has key. She's Harry's wife.