The Mysteries of Laura Quotes

Laura: I’m pretty sure the boys know who wears the pants in the family.

Jake: Did I just get cramps, too?

Max: You will never in a zillion years guess who’s on my phone. Laura: Captain Hauser. Max: Good guess.

Jake: Question, how is it that second graders have ten pages of math homework a night? Laura: They have ten pages a week, I just make…

Laura: Yesterday you had forgot that an entire conversation had taken place. Jake: I have a minor heart condition as a result of the…

Jake: You are one hell of a liar. Laura: Thank you. I learned from the best.

Laura: Are you kidding me?! Seven dollars for a box of crackers. Do you have a layaway program?

Max: Don’t punish with silence, I can’t take it.

Meredith: Our parents gave us logic problems at dinner, didn’t solve it, no dessert.

Jake: I don’t see a phone, do you? Laura: Nope, which is very weird cause kids these days are surgically tethered to their phones.