Mothers of a Problem
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 20
"Grandma's Pie"
Original Air Date:

Alan and Lyndsey react to the shocking development in their lives this week: their mothers are dating?!?

Jake and Eldridge and Walden
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 19
"Palmdale, Ech"
Original Air Date:

Jake and Elridge enlist the help of Walden this week. He drives them to a high school party.

Patton Oswalt on Two and a Half Men
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 18
"The War Against Gingivitis"
Original Air Date:

Patton Oswalt guest stars on this episode of Two and a Half Men. He plays Walden's former business partner.

Drink Much?
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 17
"Not In My Mouth"
Original Air Date:

Does Lyndsey have a drinking problem? Alan ponders this question on this episode of Two and a Half Men.

Trapped on Valentine's Day
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 16
"Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy"
Original Air Date:

It's an anger-filled Valentine's Day on Two and a Half Men, as Walden, Alan, Lyndsey and Zoey are trapped inside together.

The Two Men
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 14
"The Duchess of Dull-In Sack"
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Two and a Half Men is back after a brief hiatus. This episode is titled "The Duchess of Dull-In Sack."

The New Walden
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 13
"A Possum on Chemo"
Original Air Date:

Walden changes up his look on Two and a Half Men this week. So long, homeless guy!

Fighting for Walden
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 12
"Slowly and in a Circular Fashion"
Original Air Date:

Walden needs help from Alan on this episode of Two and a Half Men because his mother and ex-wife attempt wrestle away control of his company.

A Two and a Half Men Christmas
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 11
"One False Move, Zimbabwe!"
Original Air Date:

Alan falls for Walden's mom on this episode of Two and a Half Men, while also learning something about her new friend's past.

A Mexican Flight
Watch Two and a Half Men Season 9 Episode 10
"What a Lovely Landing Strip"
Original Air Date:

Walden tries to impress his new love interest this week. But then Bridget reappears in his life.

Two and a Half Men Quotes

Jake: You smell like strawberries.
Sophie: It's my lip gloss.
Jake: Does it taste like it smells?
Sophie: You wanna find out?
Jake: Sure!
[Sophie leans in to kiss Jake, Jake uses a finger to wipe her lip gloss off, then proceeds to eat it]
Jake: Mm

Charlie: Oh, try MalibuPuddingGirls.com.
Alan: Pudding Girls?
Charlie: Trust me.
Alan: Oh ... ew.