Veep Quotes

Tom: You really should have been there. You know, it’s one thing I’ve learned. In politics, a lot of the best stuff happens after hours….

Teddy: OK. Listen to me. Jonah, if anyone asks, tell them you were chemically castrated. It’s very easy to lie about, and believe me, no…

Selina: Dan fucked you? Amy: Mmm hmmm. Selina: What? Was he wearing a full-length mirror?

Wade: The one thing I learned about hip-hop artists before anyone else is that the artists would sign away the publishing rights for next…

Jonah: I split the bill on all my dates. Why would I pay for a girl to get fatter?

Tom: I love you. Selina: I love you, too, Tom. Go fuck yourself. Tom: Selina, I mean it. You’re in my head all the time. You always have…

Kent: She’s having a textbook aneurysm. Gary: She looks like a goddess.

Gary: How about a hot soak with a Laura Mercier bath bomb. Selina: Is it going to explode between my legs and make me cum until I cry?…

Selina: If I ever needed a miracle, it’s right now! Richard: Ma’m, there’s been a mass shooting at a mall in Pheonix. Twenty-seven people…

Jonah: Whoa. What was that? Sykes: I was just adjusting your mic. I was chemically castrated, remember? [winks]