Venture Brothers Quotes

The Monarch: The Guild of Calamitous Intent – which incidentally I only joined to get the full dental and partial health package – has…

Billy Quizboy: You should be good as new, maybe even better – I hooked you up with the “complete package,” if you know what I mean. Dean:…

Brock: Take your time, Monarch, cause the minute you finish your little speech, I’m going to kill you. The Monarch: What are you, Obi-wan…

Dr. Venture: Hello, come in, Monarch. This is Dr. Thaddeus Venture. What is your status? Over. Dr. Girlfriend: And who may I say is…

Dean: Hank, I had my pubes shaved! I’m going to put them under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy. Hank: Did the doctor see that creepy…

Hank: I never met my grandfather. I never even met my mom. The Monarch: Hank… what would you say if I told you that your mother was…

Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs. Henchman 21: Oh my…

Dean: Question #1: You’re in Prague, a snipers in the window above you, there’s an alligator behind you, and a grizzly bear in front of…

Dr. Venture: My good looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night

Dr. Venture: Oh you’re back! You didn’t miss much. Oh one of [the strippers] was dressed like a cheerleader and said she was 19, but she…