Ever get that craving for an undead fruit pie or wish for a classic diner where you can eavesdrop on F.B.I. agents with your side of fries?
Maybe you're tired of having to order your meal and just want a waitress who can (literally) read your mind? From retro to recent, we've got your gastro-television recommendations here! Can't find the listing?
We've got you covered with our short, sweet, AND salty reviews of TV's most iconic establishments.
We'll rev up your inner restauranteur! If we COULD calm our hangry beast at one of our favorite TV-verse diner or dive, you KNOW we'd be reviewing the HECK out of it.
Royal Diner (Bones) - Awesome Fries But Don't Make a Federal Case Out Of It
Royal Diner (Bones) - CLASSIC AMERICAN - Serviceable lunch counter with limited seating. The menu has decent variety although you could probably order the same thing every day for, say, twelve years and be okay with it.
Bob's Burgers (Bob's Burgers) - Five-Star Burgers, Meh Service
Bob's Burgers (Bob's Burgers) - BURGERS - Family-run, typical greasy spoon. Never a wait for a table. Wait staff are short and sarcastic. Be sure to check out the daily special -- the punny name might be awful but the food isn't!
Central Perk (Friends) - The One With the Couches
Central Perk (Friends) - COFFEE SHOP - Amazing little coffee shop in the heart of Manhattan. No idea how they can afford the overhead for the location but it does some brisk business despite a few regulars who take up a lot of room. Service is good although staff turnover is high. Have an issue? Ask for Gunther.
Regal Beagle (Three's Company) - So Very Retro
Regal Beagle (Three's Company) - PUB GRUB - Come for the 1970s atmosphere, leave because you've probably had food (or a drink) spilled on you. The clientele is eclectic and the decor is a little confusing. I think I saw someone actually using a phone booth.
Restaurant (Sweetbitter) - High Class, No Name
Restaurant (Sweetbitter) - $$$$$ - You get what you pay for. Excellent service, exemplary food. There's a strong resemblance to the Union Square Cafe. Warning: cell phones don't work in the building. Super weird, it's like it's 2006 time warp or something.
Frank's Restaurant (C.S.I.) - Always Open But Smells Like Death
Frank's Restaurant (C.S.I.) - AMERICAN - Ostensibly open 24 hrs but often inaccessible due to police crime-scene tape. Regularly frequented by shift workers in law enforcement (both on and off-shift). Lots of parking (unless blocked off by more crime-scene tape) and ample seating.
McLaren's Pub (How I Met Your Mother) - Legendary
McLaren's Pub (How I Met Your Mother) - Irish Pub - Always busy and bustling. Not surprisingly, people start to look alike after a while. Beware the Woo Girls and get your drinks order in early. Then you can sit back and relax. You never know who you'll meet at this place.
The Max (Saved by the Bell) - A Real Throwback but Rings a Bell
The Max (Saved by the Bell) - SIT DOWN FAST FOOD JOINT - So much glass brick and pastels! Popular high school hangout with a juke-box vibe. Owner's a little peculiar but has a quirky sort of charm. Service is usually pretty quick and no one seems to pay their bill. Regulars are friendly and seem extremely familiar...
The Pie Hole (Pushing Daisies) - Come in For a Slice, It's to Die For
The Pie Hole (Pushing Daisies) - DESSERT - This place elevates the pie to a work of art. Every fresh fruit variety you could possibly imagine, even ones you'd think were MONTHS out of season. Great place for people-watching too. The brunette and the owner have a real will they/won't they vibe. ;)
Merlotte's Bar and Grill (True Blood) - A Bloody Fine Meal
Merlotte's Bar and Grill (True Blood) - LOUISIANA PUB GRUB - Best night out to be had in Bon Temps. Authentic atmosphere and caters to all palettes. Our waitress was cute and friendly but a little distracted. Mind you, she seemed to know what we wanted before we even ordered so no complaints about the service. Locals are colorful, if a little long in the tooth.
LUX (Lucifer) - It's What You Truly Desire
LUX (Lucifer) - NIGHT CLUB - This is the place for the most heavenly drinks in the most hedonistic setting. Anything you could possibly wish for is available ... at a price. Just ask for Mr. Morningstar. He always gets his due.
Restaurant That Still Employs Christy Plunkett (Mom) - Not Your Mom's Fine Dining
Restaurant That Still Employs Christy Plunkett (Mom) - FINE DINING - The food here is good. It's even better if you manage to get what you actually ordered. Service is hit-or-miss and I get the sense the kitchen is in a constant state of chaos. Management seems stressed.
The Bronze (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - They Really Should Serve Steak
The Bronze (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) - NIGHT CLUB - This place has had its issues over the years. But when it's not closed for fumigation ... or renovations ... or rebuilding, it's an awesome after-hours hang-out with the BEST bands. And sometimes the floor show is just as interesting as what's on the stage.
Cheers (Cheers) - They Don't Really Know Your Name
Cheers (Cheers) - PUB - Underwhelming service but the prices are pretty unbeatable. Bartenders are a nice lot, really patient with the regulars. Honestly, I found the atmosphere a little depressing and there's an annoying laugh track that plays at weird intervals.
Luke's Diner (Gilmore Girls) - Best Behavior Required
Luke's Diner (Gilmore Girls) - AMERICAN - Kind of the only game in Stars Hollow if you need coffee or a quick lunch. Owner - operator can be a bit of a jerk about stuff so if you want to finish your meal in peace, DON'T take out your cell phone (there's a sign on the wall).
Granny's Diner (Once Upon A Time) - Once Upon a Diner
Granny's Diner (Once Upon A Time) - CLASSIC GRILL - This is a fairy tale of an eatery. Prices are a wish come true and they seem to make orders appear like magic. Everyone in town eats here. Be sure to drop in for the "Dinner Special" any weeknight, 4-6pm or you'll curse yourself in the morning.
Langford's (The Odd Couple) - Sports With a Side of Sarcasm
Langford's (The Odd Couple) - SPORTS BAR & GRILL - Screens on every wall guaranteed to be showing something you can shout at over your beer and burger. The newer waitress has a lot to say although most of it has nothing to do with the food. If you keep your eyes open, you may spot some local sports "celebs" having a pint.
Peach Pit (Beverly Hills 90210) - Serving It Up Old School
Peach Pit (Beverly Hills 90210) - BURGERS - This is the OG of retro. Lino counters, 50s style uniforms, mini-jukeboxes on every table. The only thing missing is the wait staff on rollerskates.
The NEW Sirens Club (Gotham) - The Ultimate Girls' Night Out
The NEW Sirens Club (Gotham) - NIGHTCLUB - This place always seems to be under new management but in this case, the NEW is the OLD bosses and they've put some real money into the renos. Most noticeably, the center bar looks like a giant... Georgia O'Keefe subject. This is THE place to be seen in Gotham. Until it's blown up or whatever... again.
Nuovo Vesuvio (The Sopranos) - They Treat You Like The Family
Nuovo Vesuvio (The Sopranos) - UPSCALE ITALIAN - Amazing cuisine with a real shoot-from-the-hip authenticity. Meatballs like Mama used to make and a clientele that would make a Corleone feel nervous. Enjoy your meal, tip your server, just don't make too much eye-contact, capisce?
Paddy's Irish Pub (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) - All Sorts of Wrong
Paddy's Irish Pub (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) - PUB? - Not even sure how to review this place. "Service" could be a euphemism for many of the activities that seemed to be taking place. Mostly, it looked like a sketchy bunch of regulars were helping themselves to the bar. My order never came so I left. Also, I think the janitor (well, he had a mop) stole my wallet.