It may not be the most intelligent show on television, but you can always rely on Two and a Half Men for some good laughs.  Last night's episode had a very simple premise, Charlie's girlfriend, err now fiancee, Chelsea was sick and Charlie had to take care of her.

Of course, Charlie has never actually taken care of a sick girlfriend because well, he never really keeps them around.  As a result, Charlie managed to whip out some clever one liners that only Charlie Sheen could just lay out there.

You can read our short but sweet "My Son's Enormous Head" recap to catch up on all the action of the episode.  We think you'll have a lot more fun, however, just reading the quotes from the episode.  Here's some of our favorites:

Jake [about Chelsea]: Maybe she has an std
Charlie: What?
Jake: It means sexually transmitted disease
Charlie: I know what STDs are
Alan: Your uncle helped invent them
Jake: You know they can be prevented by using a condom?
Charlie: I know we could have prevented you by using a condom | permalink

Chelsea: I love you
Charlie: Great
Chelsea: Aren't you gonna say it back?
Charlie: I'm gonna go pan for cat turds. If that doesn't say "I love you," nothing does | permalink

Berta: Charlie doesn't go near sick women, I mean physically sick. Around here, one sneeze will get you cab fair and a travel mug | permalink

Eric Hochberger is the programmer of TV Fanatic, so please forgive his mediocre writing. His programming is far better. Follow him on Twitter and/or email him. Just don't request threaded comments. They're coming.