Season 7, Episode 6: "Give Me Your Thumb"
Charlie: What about your back pain?Chelsea: I'll live with it.
Charlie: Are you sure?
Chelsea: I live with you, don't I?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Evelyn [to Alan]: I want to see you happy, and not dressed like an unemployed lesbian
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Alan [after pouring M&M's into Jake's brown bag]: Breakfast of champions, Type 2 diabetes division
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Alan: I love my new silk pajamas mom, they're like wearing a baby seal
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Chelsea: They're not our boobs, they're my breasts
Charlie: If you were to dust them for prints right now, who would be suspect number one?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Evelyn [to Alan]: You suggested Charlie's fiancee get small breasts? Why not reinstate prohibition while you're at it?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Charlie [to Alan]: Let's make one thing clear, the only acceptable boob reduction in this house is you moving out
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Charlie: I'll tell you what helps pain, pain pills. In fact, I saw a guy on the news with a nail in his head and thanks to pain pills he was laughing
Alan: What about addiction?
Charlie: That's the least of his problem, he has a nail in his head!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chelsea: You're staring at them, Alan
Alan: It's okay, I'm almost a doctor
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 7, Episode 5: "For the Sake of the Child"
Alan: Name three things you would change about meCharlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address
Alan: Thank you
Charlie: Your voice, your face and again your address
Alan: Alright, alright
Charlie: Your haircut, your fruity little workbook and your address
Alan: Just needed three
Charlie: Come on, we're healing. Your cheapness, your smug arrogance, and your address
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 678
