Californication Recap: "Land of Rape and Honey"

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In typical Californication fashion, this episode tackles sensitive topics like rape and suicide with a tactlessness that makes viewers literally LOL in disbelief!

Ed Westwick guest stars in this episode as a depressed, sexually confused, vampire-loving writing student.

Unfortunately, his newly minted orofessor, Hank Moody, isn't really mentor material. Read on for the complete recap of this week's episode, titled "Land of Rape and Honey."

Westwick on Californiacation

We've listed a few of our favorite Californication quotes from the hour below:

Hank: At least I'm not tucking my dong in class, not with my pants off anyway.
Felicia: Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar yet? | permalink
Charlie: If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper. | permalink
Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride. | permalink
Marcie: What are you thinking?
Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you'd be like, 'God, I really do love this schmuck.'
Marcie: You thought that in the middle of raping me, I'd realize how much I love you? | permalink
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I have just watched the land of rape and honey and I can't belive how bad it was. The dialog coming out of Hanks mouth was totaly unfunny without any sort of wit. I felt like turning it off. Hank came across as foul mouth embarrasment and total jerk instead of a funny witty likeable easy going unconventional person. I have really enjoyed all the episodes until now but when it got to the scene's at the college I was hoping that the script writers would write in part where some one woul'd hit Hank with a bit of 4x2

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Californication Quotes

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?

Hank