Californication Recap: "Land of Rape and Honey"

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In typical Californication fashion, this episode tackles sensitive topics like rape and suicide with a tactlessness that makes viewers literally LOL in disbelief!

Ed Westwick guest stars in this episode as a depressed, sexually confused, vampire-loving writing student.

Unfortunately, his newly minted orofessor, Hank Moody, isn't really mentor material. Read on for the complete recap of this week's episode, titled "Land of Rape and Honey."

Westwick on Californiacation

We've listed a few of our favorite Californication quotes from the hour below:

Hank: At least I'm not tucking my dong in class, not with my pants off anyway.
Felicia: Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar yet? | permalink
Charlie: If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper. | permalink
Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride. | permalink
Marcie: What are you thinking?
Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you'd be like, 'God, I really do love this schmuck.'
Marcie: You thought that in the middle of raping me, I'd realize how much I love you? | permalink

I have just watched the land of rape and honey and I can't belive how bad it was. The dialog coming out of Hanks mouth was totaly unfunny without any sort of wit. I felt like turning it off. Hank came across as foul mouth embarrasment and total jerk instead of a funny witty likeable easy going unconventional person. I have really enjoyed all the episodes until now but when it got to the scene's at the college I was hoping that the script writers would write in part where some one woul'd hit Hank with a bit of 4x2

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Californication Quotes

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody

She's the kind of girl a guy meets when he's too young and he fucks up because there's too much looting left to do.