Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can't have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I'm with her, even when I'm not.

Hank: Have you heard from our literary pilgrim?
Karen: No, only what she puts up on Instagram.
Hank: Oh. What's Instagram?

That's the eternal dilemma isn't it? Home sweet home versus the wild call of the world outside your door.

Lou

Being a fu-king feminist is not about castrating men you cooky c-nt. It's about learning to coexist with these dumb f-cks.

Marcy

Hank: We need to sneak some drugs into rehab.
Bates: That sounds fun. How can I help?

Use every chance you get children. Do not deny yourself, follow every instinct. Then sit down and write about it, but do not get up until you expose yourself.

Bates

Who pissed on my pants? Who pissed on my pants?

Charlie

Anyone can by cynical Hank. Dare to be an optimist.

Faith

Nothing like a sweet little Charlie Runkle coming of age story, to make you wanna stab yourself in the dick.

Hank

The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.

Hank

Yeah, so, Marilyn Manson is trying to get your daughter and I into a threesome right now.

Karen

Karen: You're making some questionable choices right now.
Becca: Says the queen of questionable choices.

Californication Quotes

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?

Hank

Welcome to the place where time stands still, where whiskey flows and always will. Your liver never pickles your heart never aches. You can fuck till your dick is cunt-ent.

Lou