The first of two hilarious episodes of 30 Rock last night, "Klaus and Greta," featured guest star James Franco in a truly bizarre role as ... a bastardized James Franco.

More accurately, a creepy, ultra-perverted James Franco.

James' obsession with body pillows (and other things) gave us weird nightmares, as did Liz's willingness to go along with the disturbing fantasy. But what are you gonna do?

Meanwhile ...

Jack was disgusted with Jonathan, Kenneth unhitched his pelvis, the staff played a Today Show drinking game, and Tracy declared Kenneth's haircut an insult ... to lesbians.

Below are some classic 30 Rock quotes from this episode ...

James Franco on 30 Rock: Even funnier and weirder than billed!

James Franco: Objects are made by men, and used for many purposes... but we never... love... objects. | permalink

Tracy: Before you got here, were you an air scientist? Because your ass blah blah blah, you get the point. | permalink

Kenneth: Albino monk!
Jack: That's a mirror, Kenneth. | permalink

Kenneth: Sorry, sir, that happens sometimes when I unhinge my pelvis. | permalink

Jenna: Liz, I am happy. All this attention, getting my picture taken, having ice cold diarrhea from drinking too much Jamba Juice. | permalink

Jenna: They're calling us 'James,' which is a combination of 'Jenna' and 'James.' | permalink

Tracy: I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled out 'Susan B. Anthony' at the moment of conception. | permalink

Liz: Lemoned? That's not a thing people are saying now, is it? | permalink

Jack: They're probably having beach sex. Which is the third best sex after elevator and White House. | permalink

Cerie: As a frequent receiver of drunk messages, they are not cute. Even when they're from Liz. | permalink

Tracy: [forgetting what floor he works on] Six! I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn't find the Joey Russo button. | permalink

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