Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table, where we gather to review the events of "The Lady Vanished" and discuss the developments to come.
This week's topics include memorable GG quotes, Serenate vs. Chair (again), Jenny's v-card, various shady characters and whether Danessa is hot or not ...
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?
DANdy: Blair to Serena: "You haven't eaten bread since middle school." BAM!
Gossip Guy: I don't know why, but Chuck's line about Bart telling him kids wear should wear suits to Kindergarten killed me. Maybe it's because I pictured a five year old Chuck rocking a pin stripe as he managed the other kids finger painting.
Mister Meester: An epic Chuck Bass quote, just two words long: No talking.
2. Who's shadier: Damien or Chuck's supposed mom?
DANdy: Tie. Damien is more outwardly, unabashedly so, having no regrets about slinging drugs or trying to get Jenny naked. But is Chuck's "mom" up to something more diabolical?
Gossip Guy: Damien for sure. Besides carrying the name of the demonic child from The Omen, look at the dude's creepy '80s hair. Who does he think he is, Gordon Gecko? I say watch out Jenny, he's probably just coming in for a Bass Industries hostile takeover.
Mister Meester: Elizabeth/Evelyn. Something about her story doesn't add up. If I were Chuck, I'd ask for a DNA test, 'cause his mommy issues are getting straight up exploited.
3. Should Jenny give up her v-card to Damien?
DANdy: Yes. She already ran away from home. What else is there to do?
Gossip Guy: Sure, if she really wants to exchange her v-card for a raging set of herpes the rest of her life. If it were my choice, that creep would be in jail for statutory rape.
Mister Meester: Please don't, J. We know you've got the good-girl-gone-bad thing going, and it suits you well. But he's not deserving of this. Hold off, you'll be glad you did!
4. We know we asked it last week, but after some of the racy and emotional scenes last night, we have to run it back again: which couple will last longer: Serenate or Chair?
Gossip Guy: Well it really depends on how long Serenate can last off attraction alone. Actually, I dunno, did you see that hot sex scene together? Really though, who keeps a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream in the fridge!? Oh wait, Blair... actually that's totally believable. Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, I'm not convinced these two can hold conversation long enough to get through a bread-less meal. Sure they had that one scene of dialogue together last night, but even I could barely sit through it. How do you expect the two of them to do that every day!? People this beautiful were meant to be seen, not heard. So my rambling conclusion? Chair's got them beat, but until they break up, I will be enjoying my soft-core porn each week courtesy of Serenate.
DANdy: Serenate. At least I hope so. I'd love to see more of S' oxford collection.
Mister Meester: Serenate clearly has chemistry, but right now they're running solely on passion. Not that it isn't hot, but it remains to be seen if it'll sustain. Chair is forever.
5. Danessa: Hot or not?
Mister Meester: As I said in our review of "The Lady Vanished," I wasn't a big fan at first, but something about these two awkward dorks just clicks with me. Glad they gave it a try. I'll give Danessa a cautious "hot," pending developments in future episodes.
DANdy: Uhh, as hot as the photo above possibly can be?
Gossip Guy: I swear this is not for shock value... but actually kind of hot. We're not talking A+ hot. That was a pretty bold claim there Dan ... but considering the fact it involves Vanessa, you guys should be pretty happy I'm giving you a C+. That means I'll watch each week, but I'm not exactly hopping in for a devil's threesome.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!