Gossip Girl Round Table: "Last Tango, Then Paris"
Welcome to TV Fanatic's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our illustrious panel reflects on the events of the shocking third season finale, "Last Tango, Then Paris."
Below, DANdy, Gossip Guy and Mister Meester offer their take on Monday night's top lines, dubious moments, OMG twists, and what's to come next season ...
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote last night?
DANdy: Cyrus' plea to Dorota while pushing: "Not enough!!!" We needed some light-hearted Cyrus moments in an otherwise dark episode.
Gossip Guy: Definitely Dan genuinely asking if Vanessa was Serena's friend. At this point, nobody can keep up with incestuous relationships within this group.
Mister Meester: Blair laying the smackdown on Serena: "First of all, S., you didn't go to school this year and you haven't had a real job in months, so life is kind of like summer for you." LOL. Thank goodness someone else notices these things!
2. So, last night ... OMG or WTF?!
DANdy: Georgina's random return and pregnancy? WTF. Chuck bedding Jenny? OMG. Dan pining after Serena again? Eh. Chuck getting shot? OMFG. Jenny being shipped away? Sucka! So, to recap: WTFOMGEhOMFGSucka!
Gossip Guy: A little bit of both with OMFG.
Mister Meester: OMG in a good way ... mostly. The Chuck and Jenny hookup was obviously pure pain to watch, but that was the whole point. Serena and Nate's breakup was painful in a different way, in that it seemed illogical and hastened. But wow. Just wow. Talk about shocking developments - ones I didn't see coming and should open up a whole new season of stories to tell.
DANdy: The lack of a Blair text. I know all logic goes out the window when ogling a newborn, but come on. Blair texts in her sleep, pretty sure she would have dropped Chuck a "OMG, Ds h2o broke. Will b l8."
Gossip Guy: Obviously Blair was trying to be as true to the 1957 classic as possible... before there were cell phones. And Serena could actually be a '80s hooker at this point and I wouldn't be shocked. More just curious what she'd cost for tonight. Kidding. Unless she really is. Then call me. Uh I guess that leaves pretty much the most ridiculous use of a supporting character since V first got promoted to series regular. Yeah, that's right, all V insults are back on.
Mister Meester: Blair could have called or written Chuck, but chalk her lack of communication up to a flair for the dramatic. The hospital rendezvous point for the whole gang, though? I realize they sometimes need to manufacture ways to tie their separate lives together at times, but why would the Humphreys and VDWs be there for the birth of the child of the Waldorfs' hired help?
Gone ... but for how long?
4. Who will return to New York first, Vanessa or Jenny?
DANdy: It's a trick question! Jenny is remaining in New York! Where do you think Hudson is?!? You can't fool me, Round Table!
Gossip Guy: This may just be wishful thinking, but I'm hoping V will never return. Therefore? J will win by default.
Mister Meester: Because there is no standing death threat in play should she return, you have to assume Vanessa. Anywhere in Florida's Palm Beach, Broward or Miami-Dade counties, on the other hand? Stay away, V. If you ever set foot there, Gossip Guy will know.
5. Is Dan really Georgina's baby daddy?
DANdy: No, Gossip Guy actually knocked her up. Sorry to out you, bro.
Gossip Guy: Well the timing definitely works, but there's no way Georgina can tell the truth about anything. I'm guessing this baby bump is faker than Julia Louis-Dreyfus' on Arrested Development.
Mister Meester: I love the utter lack of credibility that accompanies Georgina Sparks. Anything she does or says you assume is a scheme or lie. That said, it'd almost be more shocking if Dan DID put a baby in that. So yes. His boys can swim ... but how will he wriggle out?
6. Chuck obviously doesn't die (breathe, people), but given his newest obstacle, how will he and Blair cross paths next?
DANdy: In some sort of of heavenly vision Chuck has. I don't see him waking up from a coma any time soon.
Gossip Guy: Well clearly their paths will cross in Europe. With no known surviving parents and having slept with his ex-step mother's step daughter, he'll probably be short on emergency contacts. I'm guessing they'll move on to call Blair pretty quickly.
Mister Meester: Chuck will recover from his non-fatal gunshot wound and learn that Blair is in Paris. He will hunt her down and propose at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Wishful thinking? Absolutely. But don't think it won't cross his mind - or he won't at least show up.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!