Gossip Girl Round Table: "War at the Roses"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panelists break down Monday's show (see our review of the episode earlier this morning).

Below, chief Gossip Girl writer Mister Meester joins critic-in-chef DANdy and TVF shot-caller Gossip Guy to discuss GG quotes, plots, enemies with benefits and more.

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1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: Blair referring to Jenny as Gothic Barbie. I wonder when Mattel is releasing that product.

Mister Meester: Aside from the obvious hate-sex preamble, I'll take Blair's "You put gladiolas in my cabbage roses? The Waldorf's isn't a Best Western!" I have no idea what that means, but it sounds like a stinging rebuke just the same.

DANdy: Blair's shout-out to Jonathan Franzen. I'm curious how many viewers even know who that is!

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2. Was the ending the hottest Chair scene ever?

Gossip Guy: OMFG.

Mister Meester: It has to be at least up there with the limo scene from the first season. Call it a tentative tie until they blow it out of the water next week (hopefully).

DANdy: Hottest Chair scene ever? Yes. Hottest Gossip Girl scene ever? No. That honor falls to Nate and Serena's bar stool sex from the very first episode. A close second: every scene with Serena in that dress from last week.

3. Was last night's episode too convoluted?

Gossip Guy: It wouldn't be Gossip Girl if it wasn't.

Mister Meester: Gossip Girl always will be to a degree, and I'll get invested in any plot that's scandalous and funny, and in which the characters behave in a plausible way (albeit in their fictional universe). For example, Chair's peace treaty was great, no matter how silly, but both Dan's and Juliet's  story lines failed to do it for me.

DANdy: Convoluted?!? It was simple: Juliet's cousin doesn't know that the student he wants to bang is the same girl Juliet and her brother are trying to expel, for reasons still unknown; while Dan... did a lot of stuff online, for reasons not totally explained, that enabled an old video of Blair to surface at her 20th birthday party and humiliate her because she was mostly off-key in it. Rachel Zoe also showed up.

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HUMILIATION: A Nelly Yuki snuff film would have been better.

4. Hardest to believe: That the drunken video was really so embarrassing to Blair, that Serena attends Columbia (in general), or that Dan cared enough about his parents' anniversary and/or revenge to plan that whole charade?

Gossip Guy: That Serena or Nate could possibly attend any college, let alone an Ivy League school. How can the two of these beautiful morons continue to trust Juliet? At least Nate was trying to get some.  Serena... your excuse?

Mister Meester: None of Dan's shenanigans made a lot of sense, nor does Serena attending an institution of higher learning, but Blair's humiliation stood out most. She already made the Jenny situation seem like the dirtiest secret ever. How does this compare?

DANdy: Serena and Columbia. I always thought that Ivy League institution was at least harder to get into than she is.

5. The Juliet storyline: Intriguing or boring?

Gossip Guy: I swear I'm not just saying this because Katie Cassidy is ridiculously attractive, but I'm still intrigued. Each week they add a new little twist to her story that I need to know what's happening already!  Okay, we finally got their connection: they're all family. Check.  Now what the hell did Serena do to them?

Mister Meester: All I have to say is that this had better be good, because with the time it's taking to play out, my patience is being stretched. Ben can text and call from jail whenever he wants. You'd think they could hurry this along ...

DANdy: Put it this way: I'd rather watch Letters to Juliet. On an endless loop.

Bonus: What's something you can imagine in the peace treaty but was never mentioned?

Gossip Guy: Much like Tiger Woods, I'm positive Blair put a gag order on Chuck to never speak of Gothic Barbie again. See what I did there? I'm trying to get it to stick.

Mister Meester: That after consummating the deal, Blair is entitled to a severance package, if you know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about anything financial.

DANdy: Neither side will reveal the identity of A in Pretty Little Liars.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Dan was really annoying, at least when he was with Serena he was less stupid. And Eric is following him and his dad, along with their looks. Flannel Eric, flannel??!!! First you abandon Chuck for Jenny who has done so many bad things to you and has never done anything good for you (unlike Chuck), then you copy the Humphrey outfits, what are you coming to???? I completely don't understand Dan or Erics attitudes honestly, dont they realise if they leave Chuck and Blair alone they can actually be decent people. It's when they annoy them that they go nuclear geez. Dan is such a whinger in this season, and who cares if Jenny can't make the anniversary? If one family member isn't there then they have to cancel the whole thing??? Stupid. And they've all magically forgotten all the bad things Jenny has done without Chuck and Blair's help. Blair may have let her get a foot in the door but Jenny has always been a social climbing mean girl. She has no excuses for any of her actions. Anyway enough Jenny bashing (love to hate her). This ep was good, video was funny (love how Chuck tried to get Blair off the stage on it LOL I can just imagine her pushing him off the stage while they were off camera and running back haha). I want to know what's up with the Juliet thing already!!! The last scene was good, but the limo scene was better. I did feel the last scene was a bit awkward though, comparing it to the limo, in this one Chuck and Blair kind of looked I don't know...not angry, not anything really, kind of bored and awkward...But that's just my interpretation. I laughed when Chuck takes his jacket off in it lol, it just seems kind of nerdy like "grrr I'm taking my jacket off now because I'm a man" bahahaha.

Reese-williams

Dan is a walking talking contradiction.
cant say im suprised by this weeks fabled attempt at trying to make people think he matters.

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SOMEONE BETTER HELP ME OUT HERE OR I'm GONNA DIE OF ANXIETY. what the hell was that video of blair that seemed to be soo controversial? I realized she was singing but who was she singing too? Where was she? &most impoortantly, WHY WAS THIS SO EMBARESSING?! If anyone can answer those three questions, I will LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!

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1 - Definitely Blair referring to Jenny as Gothic Barbie!
2 - Tres Hot! Can't wait to see how they're going to top it next!
3 - The story was pretty convoluted, however, do any of us really watch GG for its realistic story lines?
4 - Serena at Columbia is definitely the most unbelievable, she's never come across as Ivy-League material. Blair's embarrassment is a close second though. For a girl who is all about appearances and her reputation, that little video would be a nightmare.
5 - Definitely intriguing. Katie Cassidy is always fun to watch and I'm actually curious as to what Serena did to deserve this level of revenge. Can't wait to see how it all plays out. This and Chair are the main reasons to watch these days!
Bonus - Who know with these two. The most twisted parts of our brains probably couldn't even come close to the regular parts of Chuck and Blair's.

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Well I think that GG is getting quite interesting now that we have mystery that is half intruiging... Williams story line was the most amnt of crap and so transparent. I think that whatever Serena did must have happened at boarding school... We now nothing of that year and whatever she did must have been bad for her to come back to new York where she did something she felt was wrong. Serena always runs from her troubles so that makes sense. I wish she would grow up.

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CHAIR: first of all i think the last scene couldn't have been hotter, second i do think chuck just tore up the treaty because he couldn't stand not touching blair, third wasn't eleanor upstairs during the last scene??
JULIET: the secret of what serena did to that family better be good because somehow it is all getting boring along the way, i mean i would have expected colin to be in the scam but turned out he was innocent
DAN: clearly his weak attempt to turn chuck and blair against each other because of the faux tip to gossip girl was pittyful, then i agree with eric, dan told jenny to not loose herself but clearly he lost himself in the process.
BLAIR: i don't she cared about the video as much as what it meant. it meant more because she was singing a love song to chuck, clearly she still loves him, and the video was humiliating because of the off pitch voice blair had...
NOTE: loved the chocolate waterfall, who thought standing up could get so delicious...

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LOL @DANdy I caught the Franzen shout out too!
K where the heck was Cyrus in this ep?!

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DANdy - SERIOUSLY?!
Honey, hottest scene of GG is def Season 1, Hi Society, Blair, Nate, and one hell of a boner (dam.)

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OMFG ... I do not know what to say I'm so excited, sad, angry, confused but I hope you understand me, this was for my GG last night. - Dan?? Helloooo what the hell happened to your head thinking that it could be a player at the height of the Presidency, because it accompanies Jenny to see his mother, hate him so much. - Final Scene OMFG wow wow wow, I can only say that I love, I swear that my nails were clinging to the couch just waiting for that moment was so short, right edge of the limo scene when I first saw them so hot, I love you this couple really knows how to make us vibrate on the screen. - If I loved the last scene but I will not deny that I hate the way writers insist on killing the love of Blair and Chuck, my god they love, or at least that's what all the fans hope but after seeing that all of the Cold War was terrible, almost to the point of hating Chuck how could you be so mean to the woman whom you give the engagement ring I really do not understand how that could change both of the beautiful story of the train station so far that does not stop repeating that hate, I refuse to believe that. - Sometimes I feel like we're going back to season 2 with so much hate love, but I do not think about that, writing has to grow for president as a partner instead of continuing to shatter all that they have built up over 3 seasons. I heard the rumor that the second half did not share many scenes together can someone tell me if this is real, for me it just GG without presidency, they are the heart and reason why there is still a season 4, please do not spoil. Escuchar Leer fonéticamente Diccionario - Ver diccionario detallado

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6. oh yeah peace treaty I think it was the no touching clause...because that is why Chuk tore it up...he wanted to touch her.