Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Jewel of Denial"

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Welcome to the third Gossip Girl Round Table discussion of the season! Below, our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our official review from earlier this morning) in great detail.

Below, TV Fanatic commander-in-chief Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "The Jewel of Denial."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!


What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: "There’s nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey." Classic Chuck Bass.

Christina: From Blair: “That is much more civilized, unlike your hair, Humphrey. You look like a Muppet.” I really just can’t get enough of the Dan jabs.

Leigh: Chuck to Dan in response to Dan doing some persuasion: "I have knee pads in the bedroom if you need them." First of all their banter kills me. Second, of course you do Chuck.

Steve: Two scenes I loved actually featured no dialogue: The camera panning up from Lily's ankle monitor to her face, and Blair's look when she saw Chuck and the dog on Gossip Girl, closing her laptop in utter confusion/disgust.

Eric: Blair calling Dan out on his Muppet hair. I've spent five years trying to figure out what that goof looked like and she pulled it off with one word.

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Is it just me or is this season actually pretty good so far?!

Courtney: I absolutely agree! Gossip Girl is back on her game! Leighton Meester is killing it and I am loving that she has the majority of the stories week after week. Whether she is with Chuck, Louis, Dan, Serena, and even Charlie/Ivy... the girl shines in every scene. Dan and Blair’s friendship is one of the most enjoyable things this season so far. Even as a Dair fan, I understand it’s a friendship and even that gets me excited to tune in.

Christina: I loved last night’s. Prior to this episode, this season has just been okay. I’m looking forward to see what happens in Blair’s maybe almost fairytale.

Leigh: The first two episodes kind of sucked wind but last night turned it around for me. The Dair friendship, Ivy stepping up to Carol, the return of Rufly, and Chair's emotional scene... I might've shed a tear.

Steve: I've enjoyed it, and am glad it isn't just me. Ivy/Charlie is the lone weak link so far in my opinion. Last night at least provided us with Charlie's motive and raised the stakes a bit, unfortunately I still don't care that much. Maybe that's a credit to the other stories, which have started strong and have good potential.

Eric: I know, right! Since episode one opened in LA, this season just has such a fresh feel. I think we finally have some good scandals, primarily led by Blair's pregnancy, and supporting characters to keep this season going. Let's just hope they don't go the way of the usual Gossip Girl and just throw them away in the end.

Has Blair even opened the envelope yet, and what do you think it actually says?

Courtney: I’m thinking yes and that Chuck is going to be the father. Blair said it herself, she can’t be this close to having all her dreams come true and have them ripped away. This is GG people, that is absolutely what is going to happen.

Christina: I’m going with no, and it’s got to be Chuck’s, right?! 

Leigh: Blair opened the implausible DNA results. At first I was sure she was lying, now I don't know. Queen B has a good poker face.

Steve: I don't think she opened it. Even if she did and decided to lie about the results, she wouldn't keep it around, intact. She can't bear to look, but knows tossing it altogether would be irresponsible. I think. It looked like Dan was basically forcing her to read it, however, so clearly I'm not sure. But it can't be Louis' baby after all this.

Eric: Heck no. That envelope is as sealed up as a torn-up-and-taped together container can be. Now we all know the baby is actually Chuck's. But a Dair fan can dream, can't he?

More hilarious friendship: Blair-Dorota or Dan-Chuck?

Courtney: Blair and Dorota are always priceless but Dan and Chuck is downright hilarious. Who buys someone a dog that isn’t really their friend? Only Lonely Boy would do such a thing. I guess he knew what he was doing - how amazing was the scene with Chuck and Monkey at the end.

Christina: Blair-Dorota! What an unusual and funny pairing!

Leigh: Blair and Dorota are always shutting it down so let's give someone else the props this week. I am loving Dan and Chuck as friends, or whatever they are.

Steve: B and D. Chuck and Dan can't expect to overtake a legendary duo in just a few scenes, but give them a bunch more like the hilarious one above and we'll talk.

Eric: The bromance affectionately coined Duck by our Gossip Girl reviewer. Between knee pads and a dog named Monkey, their scene stole the show.

Hardest to believe: Blair's DNA test, Chuck adopting a dog, or Nate turning down sex?

Courtney: DNA test no doubt. Really? Just a hand addressed envelope written personal and confidential? There is holes all over that story.

Christina: Blair’s DNA test! Talk about impossible. By the way, that last scene with Chuck and Monkey was pretty heartbreaking. My dog, Cotton, and I were watching, and I couldn’t help but think, poor Chuck. I still am in shock that Nate turned down sex.

Leigh: Nate turned down sex? Maybe I just didn't notice because Chace Crawford wasn't taking his clothes off.

Steve: The test, however laden with impossibility, is central to the main plot, so I'll overlook it. Monkey is emblematic of Chuck's need for companionship and his relationship with new BFF Dan, so I can see that as well. Nate spurning Diana and threatening to go do something more substantive, though? Where did that gumption come from?

Eric: Hidden option four: Diana has heard of Gossip Girl. Come on, I know she supposedly gossips about Manhattan's elite, but she's gone from talking about Lonely Boy and other high school students at Constance to being uttered in the same conversation as News Corp during a plot? How big / broad could her coverage be if Serena is S and Blair is B. Let's just say she's no THG.

Nate and Diana Picture

What kind of scandals will Nate and Diana uncover?

Courtney: They will definitely be the ones to uncover the Ivy/Charlie situation and will most likely blast Blair’s pregnancy.

Christina: I’ve already got Gossip Girl for scandals. I need the best kept secret of all: Rufus’ homemade waffle recipe! Let’s hope Nate and Diana can help.

Leigh: Nate and Diana will find out who A is, who the mother is, who leaked the latest celebrity nude photos ... pretty much anything EXCEPT who Gossip Girl is. Remember what happened last time someone tried to take her on?

Steve: Looks like outing Charlie as an impostor is first order of business. Beyond that, Jenny Packham's clientele includes Keira Knightley, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston and Pippa Middleton (thank you Wikipedia). There could be some pretty famous iPhones at that fashion show. P.S. LOL @ Leigh.

Eric: OMG. Leigh pretty much nailed them all. Other than answering the one question eating away at me this season: Who is Klaus afraid of!?

How excited are you to learn what Dan wrote?

Courtney: Sooo excited! He always has been “the ultimate insider,” so the info has to be flowing. I loved that the cover of the book looked like a real Gossip Girl novel. Also really looking forward to Nate being gay and the return of Charlie Trout. Monday can not come soon enough.

Christina: How excited?! Is this a rhetorical question? Well, thanks to what I consider the best invention ever, my DVR, I was able to pause and get a first glimpse at Dan’s Inside. You can thank me later: "Standing behind the podium with a gavel in hand was Clair Carlyle, the president of the Florence School for Girls' sophomore class. When Clair demanded attention, everyone respected her request. She was smell yet giant. Young yet adult. Girlish yet macho... Clair was in charge and we were her hapless minions."

Leigh: It's gonna be a best seller! Send me a signed copy Lonely Boy. After all, Gossip Girl did once refer to you as the "ultimate insider."

Steve: Quite. As Courtney noted, it's very "meta" of a show based on a book series to have Dan write such a novel. And even if the Dair sex scene was all in Humphrey's head, the producers still get props for throwing fans a bone (pun intended) and letting their love evolve, albeit fictionally. One can only imagine what other secrets he dished and creative liberties he employed in cultivating Inside. P.S. Thank you Christina for sleuthing worthy of Gossip Girl herself ... or at least our Gossip Girl spoiler section.

Eric: Based on the latest promo? 11. Dan slept with Blair and Nate is gay? This sounds like a hilarious alternate universe reminiscent of some of the fan fiction in our Gossip Girl forum. I can't wait to explore. 

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

Steve marsi

Readers: 1. Sorry again about my error regarding Blair reading the letter. Don't know if it was my TV station or if I just missed it trying to get my review up fast for you guys, but it's my fault, and thank you all for pointing out the mistake. 2. Regarding the NY Magazine reality index, we made a decision to stop posting it because we felt it was unfair to them (would be like them posting our Round Table). 3. Thanks, as always, for reading and for your comments!


dorota is the best. everything she did this episode was awesome! her excitement at serena's return/phone converations with dan/scenes with blair...gold.


iam so excited for dan's tell all book..next episode looks like a lot of fun.next episode reminds me of the good old gg days of season 1 and 2....


No the reality index was not an EW thing, it was and still is done by nymag, and is available on their website. No clue why tvfanatic have stopped posting it


1. Favorite Quote was Nate to Chuck regarding the dog: "Can we keep it?" What are you, 7 years old?! Maybe in pot-smoking years......
2. I think the season is tanking so far. The season opener was good and then it's been straight downhill into boring.
3. Uh, Blair opened the envelope and read the results, remember? She hid the envelope from Louis because if he saw it and read it, he'd know that Blair had slept with somebody else while they were dating, that there was a possibility that the kid isn't his, and possibly call off the wedding. I think the kid is Louis' because Blair look disappointed and resigned when she was reading the results. But that doesn't mean that the lab didn't screw up the samples and baby is really Chuck's.
4. Gotta agree with Steve. Blair & Dorota have four seasons of material over Dan & Chuck. D&C can't even begin to compete!
5. The DNA test! I thought you couldn't do a non-court ordered paternity test without the potential baby daddies' consent. And didn't we go thru this with baby Milo? I didn't even notice Nate turned down sex. I'm so bored with him and his storyline. I guess I wasn't really paying attention.
6. I think Diana's main point to being on this show is to uncover the CharlIvy scam and blow the whole thing wide open on the from page of The Spec-TATE-tor. Then she'll disappear and take CharlIvy with her.
7. I wouldn't use the word "excited" but it definately looks like it will be more interesting than the last two episodes. I bow down to Christina for finding out what Dan actually wrote!


Dan's book names killed me esp Sabrina von Sloneker:))))))))))))) lmao what is Nate's name or Rufus'.)))) prob something even more hilarious.
great round table though Chuck crying was in no way heartbreaking. he was pleasuring himself with his hand:) end of story>))))

Uncle jackass

@cb, thanks for the lesson. Gynaecolist? or obstetricians?


Blair was at least 6 weeks based on the tailor's observation in the first episode this season...but there was the summer and a few weeks to count from the end of last season.... Also her morning sickness is over. This is copied directly from the American Pregnancy Association, so you might think about going back to Biology...or perhaps just using Google "3. Can you do a paternity test before the baby is born?
Yes. If the mother is between 10 and 24 weeks pregnant, an OB-GYN can collect a DNA sample from the developing child through either chorionic villi sampling (CVS) or amniocentesis. A CVS procedure is utilized from the 10th through 13th week, while an amniocentesis is used from the 14th through the 24th week of pregnancy. The baby's prenatal sample is then compared against the mother's and alleged father's DNA samples, which are collected using the standard buccal swabbing method. Because the procedures involving the mother and developing fetus are invasive, there are slight medical risks that the expectant mother must discuss with her health care professional. If the mother is more than 24 weeks pregnant, she must wait until the baby is born to do a paternity test. However, a newborn infant can be swabbed any time following birth, so a paternity test can be started soon after delivery. "


The reality index was an Entertainment Weekly thing and TV fanatic just posted some of the best ones. EW.com has not published any GG reviews for this season, no idea why. I too look forward to reading the Round Tables, and thanks Steve for getting the reviews out super fast. Again I think the missing test result scene was your local network abusing their commercial power because quite a few fans seemed to have seen it, while many didn't. At Heddy, where you able to read the first page of dan's book?


I bought the episode and, yeah, I paused to read Dan's book :)

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Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Blair: Go away! I'm preparing for my interview with Hello magazine.
Dorota: But doctor office call again. They have test results.
Blair: Hang up or I'll tell the reporter you're undocumented.

They say the only way to conquer your fear is face what you fear the most. You must walk into the belly of the beast. And risk the possibility of failure. But try to hide from your fear, and you risk it swallowing you whole.

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