Gossip Girl Round Table: "The Jewel of Denial"

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Welcome to the third Gossip Girl Round Table discussion of the season! Below, our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our official review from earlier this morning) in great detail.

Below, TV Fanatic commander-in-chief Eric Hochberger (Gossip Guy), editor Steve Marsi (Mister Meester) and writers Courtney Morrison, Christina Tran and Leigh Raines talk "The Jewel of Denial."

Weigh in with your take on the following topics after reading ours!

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What was your favorite quote from the episode?

Courtney: "There’s nothing more boring than a sense of morality, Humphrey." Classic Chuck Bass.

Christina: From Blair: “That is much more civilized, unlike your hair, Humphrey. You look like a Muppet.” I really just can’t get enough of the Dan jabs.

Leigh: Chuck to Dan in response to Dan doing some persuasion: "I have knee pads in the bedroom if you need them." First of all their banter kills me. Second, of course you do Chuck.

Steve: Two scenes I loved actually featured no dialogue: The camera panning up from Lily's ankle monitor to her face, and Blair's look when she saw Chuck and the dog on Gossip Girl, closing her laptop in utter confusion/disgust.

Eric: Blair calling Dan out on his Muppet hair. I've spent five years trying to figure out what that goof looked like and she pulled it off with one word.

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Is it just me or is this season actually pretty good so far?!

Courtney: I absolutely agree! Gossip Girl is back on her game! Leighton Meester is killing it and I am loving that she has the majority of the stories week after week. Whether she is with Chuck, Louis, Dan, Serena, and even Charlie/Ivy... the girl shines in every scene. Dan and Blair’s friendship is one of the most enjoyable things this season so far. Even as a Dair fan, I understand it’s a friendship and even that gets me excited to tune in.

Christina: I loved last night’s. Prior to this episode, this season has just been okay. I’m looking forward to see what happens in Blair’s maybe almost fairytale.

Leigh: The first two episodes kind of sucked wind but last night turned it around for me. The Dair friendship, Ivy stepping up to Carol, the return of Rufly, and Chair's emotional scene... I might've shed a tear.

Steve: I've enjoyed it, and am glad it isn't just me. Ivy/Charlie is the lone weak link so far in my opinion. Last night at least provided us with Charlie's motive and raised the stakes a bit, unfortunately I still don't care that much. Maybe that's a credit to the other stories, which have started strong and have good potential.

Eric: I know, right! Since episode one opened in LA, this season just has such a fresh feel. I think we finally have some good scandals, primarily led by Blair's pregnancy, and supporting characters to keep this season going. Let's just hope they don't go the way of the usual Gossip Girl and just throw them away in the end.

Has Blair even opened the envelope yet, and what do you think it actually says?

Courtney: I’m thinking yes and that Chuck is going to be the father. Blair said it herself, she can’t be this close to having all her dreams come true and have them ripped away. This is GG people, that is absolutely what is going to happen.

Christina: I’m going with no, and it’s got to be Chuck’s, right?! 

Leigh: Blair opened the implausible DNA results. At first I was sure she was lying, now I don't know. Queen B has a good poker face.

Steve: I don't think she opened it. Even if she did and decided to lie about the results, she wouldn't keep it around, intact. She can't bear to look, but knows tossing it altogether would be irresponsible. I think. It looked like Dan was basically forcing her to read it, however, so clearly I'm not sure. But it can't be Louis' baby after all this.

Eric: Heck no. That envelope is as sealed up as a torn-up-and-taped together container can be. Now we all know the baby is actually Chuck's. But a Dair fan can dream, can't he?

More hilarious friendship: Blair-Dorota or Dan-Chuck?

Courtney: Blair and Dorota are always priceless but Dan and Chuck is downright hilarious. Who buys someone a dog that isn’t really their friend? Only Lonely Boy would do such a thing. I guess he knew what he was doing - how amazing was the scene with Chuck and Monkey at the end.

Christina: Blair-Dorota! What an unusual and funny pairing!

Leigh: Blair and Dorota are always shutting it down so let's give someone else the props this week. I am loving Dan and Chuck as friends, or whatever they are.

Steve: B and D. Chuck and Dan can't expect to overtake a legendary duo in just a few scenes, but give them a bunch more like the hilarious one above and we'll talk.

Eric: The bromance affectionately coined Duck by our Gossip Girl reviewer. Between knee pads and a dog named Monkey, their scene stole the show.

Hardest to believe: Blair's DNA test, Chuck adopting a dog, or Nate turning down sex?

Courtney: DNA test no doubt. Really? Just a hand addressed envelope written personal and confidential? There is holes all over that story.

Christina: Blair’s DNA test! Talk about impossible. By the way, that last scene with Chuck and Monkey was pretty heartbreaking. My dog, Cotton, and I were watching, and I couldn’t help but think, poor Chuck. I still am in shock that Nate turned down sex.

Leigh: Nate turned down sex? Maybe I just didn't notice because Chace Crawford wasn't taking his clothes off.

Steve: The test, however laden with impossibility, is central to the main plot, so I'll overlook it. Monkey is emblematic of Chuck's need for companionship and his relationship with new BFF Dan, so I can see that as well. Nate spurning Diana and threatening to go do something more substantive, though? Where did that gumption come from?

Eric: Hidden option four: Diana has heard of Gossip Girl. Come on, I know she supposedly gossips about Manhattan's elite, but she's gone from talking about Lonely Boy and other high school students at Constance to being uttered in the same conversation as News Corp during a plot? How big / broad could her coverage be if Serena is S and Blair is B. Let's just say she's no THG.

Nate and Diana Picture

What kind of scandals will Nate and Diana uncover?

Courtney: They will definitely be the ones to uncover the Ivy/Charlie situation and will most likely blast Blair’s pregnancy.

Christina: I’ve already got Gossip Girl for scandals. I need the best kept secret of all: Rufus’ homemade waffle recipe! Let’s hope Nate and Diana can help.

Leigh: Nate and Diana will find out who A is, who the mother is, who leaked the latest celebrity nude photos ... pretty much anything EXCEPT who Gossip Girl is. Remember what happened last time someone tried to take her on?

Steve: Looks like outing Charlie as an impostor is first order of business. Beyond that, Jenny Packham's clientele includes Keira Knightley, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston and Pippa Middleton (thank you Wikipedia). There could be some pretty famous iPhones at that fashion show. P.S. LOL @ Leigh.

Eric: OMG. Leigh pretty much nailed them all. Other than answering the one question eating away at me this season: Who is Klaus afraid of!?

How excited are you to learn what Dan wrote?

Courtney: Sooo excited! He always has been “the ultimate insider,” so the info has to be flowing. I loved that the cover of the book looked like a real Gossip Girl novel. Also really looking forward to Nate being gay and the return of Charlie Trout. Monday can not come soon enough.

Christina: How excited?! Is this a rhetorical question? Well, thanks to what I consider the best invention ever, my DVR, I was able to pause and get a first glimpse at Dan’s Inside. You can thank me later: "Standing behind the podium with a gavel in hand was Clair Carlyle, the president of the Florence School for Girls' sophomore class. When Clair demanded attention, everyone respected her request. She was smell yet giant. Young yet adult. Girlish yet macho... Clair was in charge and we were her hapless minions."

Leigh: It's gonna be a best seller! Send me a signed copy Lonely Boy. After all, Gossip Girl did once refer to you as the "ultimate insider."

Steve: Quite. As Courtney noted, it's very "meta" of a show based on a book series to have Dan write such a novel. And even if the Dair sex scene was all in Humphrey's head, the producers still get props for throwing fans a bone (pun intended) and letting their love evolve, albeit fictionally. One can only imagine what other secrets he dished and creative liberties he employed in cultivating Inside. P.S. Thank you Christina for sleuthing worthy of Gossip Girl herself ... or at least our Gossip Girl spoiler section.

Eric: Based on the latest promo? 11. Dan slept with Blair and Nate is gay? This sounds like a hilarious alternate universe reminiscent of some of the fan fiction in our Gossip Girl forum. I can't wait to explore. 

What do you think? Sound off in the comments!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.

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Amygirl

I'm the only one not excited for his book? Nate is WAY too okay with being portrayed as gay. The writers were too scared of being labeled as homophobic, they didn't think about the actual character's reaction. A college boy does not want to hear his best friend made him gay in his now published book. Not only is it damned creepy, but Dan is saying Nate HAS the potential to be gay. Perhaps Nate being with all these women is him actually being gay? Huh. I'm reading way into this... he also said that he and Blair had sex! She's an engaged pregnant woman: might want to keep those fantasies to yourself. Ivy, Ivy, Ivy. How she has become a series regular? I don't know. Perhaps a GUEST STAR, like Georgina, but regular? I hope I'm making a mistake with this. I know she's got this blackmail thing going on but how long can she keep it up? I love Blair! She has taken over. Serena has NO storyline besides her "working" thing. I want to see how this pregnancy storyline plays out, seeing as I originally hated it, and I still kind of do.

Uncle-jackass

Title: "The Baby Jewels of Fan Denial?" Intro: Mystery Revealed: Louis is the FATHER! Or is he? Okay, so I have lost count on the number of fans that honestly believe that Louis is NOT the father of the baby. Unfortunately, this includes me too. Not due to a sense of denial in the title but a common sense of preface of story telling. Logic tells us that: Louis is not a main cast member and won't be on forever, Blair placed the envelope in the draw (said time and time again) to hide "The Truth," from Louis, Blair showed a 1 second regret after telling Chuck "The Truth," and the premise of episode being in "denial." Evidence to the contrary? Blair has a great poker face and so we have no idea other than the motivation that she thinks Chuck is too immature to become a dad as reasoning for lying to Chuck. As a necessity of story telling, it was natural for Blair to not inform Chuck as we are only 3 episodes into the season and not the final 3 episodes of the season. Louis is needed as a plot tool to prevent any future Chair scenes; plain and simple. Blair Kelly: Future Queen of Monaco The Biography: Perhaps the analogy had more to do with "Falling from Grace," rather than the unfortunate stroke of Grace Kelly from a car accident; Serena has already done the whole crash scene anyways. Starting a family seems to wearing thin on Blair's actions this week despite Dan stating "You still have me," apparently equating to purgatory or no support at all. So it seems that every action she is taking means to keep protecting herself from harm (natural selection at work) Charlie and The Envy Factory: So it seems we have come full circle. At first thought, we all assumed that "Charlie" was bipolar and needed to be rehabilitated. Now it seems that she is developing a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and wants the high life that Serena has offered. How ironic. But what type of sane person says "Everything here sparkles..." with a pure imagination? As for "Carl," (Ivy's ex-boyfriend) I am suspecting that he will come to the UES to "stalk" Charlie after finding her in a newspaper or Spectator magazine. The Noble Nate will be there to protect the Charlie from this new fiend (who doesn't look like he would hurt a fly). Muppet Dan or the Classless Klingon?: "Standing on your on two feet," by Vanessa Abraham Unfortunately, the problem with a Muppet that stands on his two feet is that it is still attached to the strings of the puppeteer and is only standing because of those supports. So this is perhaps the only time I have agreed with @Kimmie, is that Dan can be hypo-critical and indecisive at times. But it was actually Chuck who stated that he has nothing to lose unless he doesn't makes a bloody decision!! Take a stand, your classless Klingon! The Master Puppeteer: Noah Shapiro Grrhh, Grrhhh... I make no apologies for loathing the man, but apparently he's to believed to have done something noble? Okay, so Vanessa got Harper Collins the publisher of Jonathon Saffron Foer books to approve the books, but somehow it was Noah Shapiro's publishing house that bought the retail rights to the book? I don't get the logic or process of it all. Nate the Journalist?? Magazines don't make money or sell by advertising "A sense of Morality" as evidenced by some Chair and Dair fans that either want Dan to die in ditch, Blair to miscarriage, and Chuck to get r#p@$. So, it seems fine that Nate is trying to make a name for himself even if he crossed the line. In fact, he might just do a better job than Blair and Dan's intern at W Magazine. But he's role does remind me of Brendan Fraser's character in Bedazzled. "If You Build It, The Tears will Come..." by Dan Humphrey "We always knew Bass was one sick Puppy..." as stated by Gossip Girl. The Miss Waldorf sees this Gossip update and reinforces that she is alone because of Louis's admission to the magazine to a no-child policy and Chuck's immediate return policy for the cute Monkey to the pound. But in reality, Field of Dream analogies set aside, is that Chuck is need of a friend. So Dan is right there in support of this new Duck romance. In this respects, Dan has come a long way from season 1 where he wouldn't dare help Chuck with he's problems. Dan is trying to building up Chuck's ability to feel good things even if those feelings are the lost of loved ones. Final Comments and Plots Holes 101:
-------------------------------------- 1.) How does Rufus have pull with the Judge? Did he managed to convinced him out of the kindness of his heart?
2.) Paternity tests can be done with DNA tests on a 4 week old fetus? Clearly, I need to go back to re-learn high school biology.
3.) Rufus and Dan seem to be helping out their respective Lily and Blair this episode a bit. Of course, maybe Humphries are still not escort material still?
4.) Dan and Blair fighting is always hilarious. Lol. Chuck's achilles is apparently Dan's fists where as Dan's achilles is the slap of Blair Waldorf.
5.) I'm still feeling bad for Dan as my pre-cog skills are telling me that he won't get Serena, he definitely won't get Blair (unless the writers are going to be very brave), and Vanessa is long gone. So any suggestions on where to Gary Marshall this problem? Ans: Maybe the "Real" Charlie comes along and Dan finally gets his own fairy tale ending. Hopefully.
6. Who is the "-A" from Lonely Boy's book? Ans: Alessandra Steele (I think Dan's new crush of a boss). Is the book cover a copy of the season 1 US dvd box cover? Ans: Yes, at least bits of it are.

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i loved monkey!

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Btw, thanks tvfanatic for the round tables, as soon as I finish seeing an episode of any series I run to the site to read it. Just one question, what happened to the reality index? I miss it so much!

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People there's no doubt that our queen B. opened de paternity test, it appears in the episode, the question is if she is telling the truth about de baby being Louis's.

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My favorite quote (apart from the Muppet hair comment) was Dorota's reaction to the thought of working on the upper west side: "Zabar's Zombies!!!" For all of you UWS NYC natives, you know it's true.

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Thank you TV Fanatic for posting that clip. When I first saw the scene I didn't got why Nate was not informed of the real reason the dog was there but now I saw it was Chuck who wanted to keep it under wraps. Also after rewatching this I once again was confirm that of the 3 boys, Nate is the one that acts the most like a real life dude would, in the way of talking, moving, the words he uses, etc. At that dog has a priceless facial expressions. Also thank you for acknowledging earlier our comments about Blair opening the envelope. I can admit a little suspension of reality that Blair looked that page but didn't read it, though I doubt it I think she read the result, but it's just my opinion and we'll see what the show will do with this.

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I love reading these round tables, but whatever happened to the Reality Index? That was my favorite thing on this site

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Come on everybody if the baby was Louie do you think she would have hide the Lab report?

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@Courtney: from question What kind of scandals will Nate and Diana uncover? aaa HELLO!!!! they won't find out about blair cuz nate didn't take her phone! and if lious and chuck nows it doesn't really matter who finds out!

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Blair: Go away! I'm preparing for my interview with Hello magazine.
Dorota: But doctor office call again. They have test results.
Blair: Hang up or I'll tell the reporter you're undocumented.

They say the only way to conquer your fear is face what you fear the most. You must walk into the belly of the beast. And risk the possibility of failure. But try to hide from your fear, and you risk it swallowing you whole.

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