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Hawaii Five-0 Review: Oh, the Horror

by at . Comments

"Ka Iwi Kapu" = Sacred Bones

This episode should serve as proof that TV shows should never attempt to capitalize on holidays. Even with a Halloween slant, the biggest horror on Hawaii Five-0 this week was the hour I spent watching it.

Let me be perfectly clear: this was the worst episode of this show I have ever watched. It can only be broken in to two parts, bad and worse. See below.

Robert Englund on Hawaii Five-0

BAD
First and foremost, the episode ended without a clear closure to the case we started on: Who killed Kat and Christian, and buried them? While it might have been the registered nurse who blew himself up, or the mortuary funeral director who was embalmed alive, the dialogue made it sound like these two were being paid by someone else who was severing connections by killing them.

Beyond the garbled story, we had a special appearance by Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself.. Sadly, as with previous guest stars, Englund had one important scene that lasted about five minutes where he was allowed to be appropriately creepy. That was it, aside from an intro. Why does Hawaii Five-0 continue to under-utilize such big names?!?

Additionally, this "Halloween episode" featured a bevy of classic horror movie tropes such as: no power for the lights in the funeral home, (but power to run the embalming station), bad guys climbing out of a coffin, and (my personal favorite) the team decided to split up and search alone, just to name a few. While any of these tropes could have been used for fun and could work in the setting of the story, putting as many as they did in went beyond insulting my intelligence - and straight into beating up my common sense. 

WORSE
The single most horrible aspect of this episode was Danny's role.  Given how hard we have seen Danny work to shield Grace from his bachelor lifestyle, there is NO WAY I would believe he would willingly take her trick-or-treating at a motel.

While I was still trying to let it go, he promptly went to a crime scene and desecrated sacred burial grounds in the name of "catching a killer" because he didn't want to wait for the priest to arrive and give blessing. Really?!? While Five-0 may take some liberties with the laws and conducts on the street, none of them has ever disregarded other cultural beliefs. This was a horribly written plot device to throw in "ghost" or "spirits" to make it fit into the Halloween theme.

If stomping over beliefs and embarrassing himself with his daughter wasn't enough, the powers that be decided this was a good episode for us to meet Dr. Gabby Asano, who Danny took on a date. Thankfully for Danny, much like Englund's screen time, Autumn Reeser only visited with us for about 10 minutes. Not nearly enough time for Danny to insult her heritage!

I know that many returning TV Fanatic readers will be disappointed that Lori only got bashed on the head (and wasn't killed by whoever killed the funeral director). I was personally glad she didn't get killed, but I also couldn't reconcile myself to the point that I could give a crap about what costume she had been in when the call came in about the murders. I know it was meant to be some comic relief, but when added to the other poorly penned parts of the episode, it just came off as forced and contrived.

There is good news, though, readers: Greg Grunberg guest stars next Monday night! Let's hope we see him for more than 30 seconds.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.8 / 5.0
  • 2.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.5 / 5.0 (153 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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I think I've seen shows that are crappier than this stinkburger
but I can't remember them. What piece of S***. And what's
with the camera shots. Do they have a rule they can't
stay on someone more than 2 seconds. Horrible garbage.

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This episode was repeated on 16 April 2012. I didn't recall seeing it before so I watched it...and now realize why it was so forgettable. I agree with the reviewer--despite the constant plot twists, the ending was unsatisfying and Danny's character comes off as an insensitive cheapskate.

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Overall not a bad episode but the writing seemed to be off. Danny is getting on my nerves this season. He was always a nag and a bit annoying but now he's become insentive and rude. I find the Steve/Danno arguments childish and forced now.
I'll still keep watching while Alex is the lead.

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Sorry, but Alex is not an insipid Aussie. Watch Mary Bryant, then Moonlight, then his guest starring episode on Criminal Minds. Tell me he's insipid then. When he's provided with good writing, he gives a fantastic performance--he can only work with what he's given.

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Dear show, please stop trying so hard to make us like Lori. It's really backfiring.
in fact, I almost feel like the less they show of her, the more we will start to like her - kind of what they did with Jenna Kaye. I was fine with Jenna by the 3rd episode that I didn't see her in.
Moving Lori to recurring character instead of regular - as well as giving Kono all her scenes and lines back - could do wonders toward fixing their current problems.

Mrs-cleaver

Thanks Lisbeth - I voted!

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I always watch the show but I never take it too seriously I mostly watch just because Alex is so hot.Lori doesn't even bother me that much, I kinda like her but I hate that she's taking time away from Chin and Kono. Kono's story line is just horrible this season, give her something to do, include her in the team.

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It would have been so much better to skip the whole stupid "Lori costume dialogue" (which included her calling Danno "Danno"), and given the time to Robert Englund instead, or to wrap up the murders better. Peter Lenkov has been tweeting that fans have to imagine too many scenes (Steve & Cath's goodbye, the team welcoming Kono back). Not to worry, if CBS pulls the plug, we'll all be imagining our own episodes. And mine are not going to have Lori in them.

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Ok, hold on Ashley. I agree with you all but the part about Alex. He can only do so much with what he is given and that goes for Scott, Grace and DDK. Peter Lenkov is completely to blame for this whole thing. The lines and adding all these new people especially Lauren German. She is the one who cannot act. I love Terry O'Quinn too by the way. Loved him (and everyone) in Lost. Hey, let's get those writers....Sadly, I do not see a third season for this show. I started out loving it and I hope Alex will go back to LA and do another series.

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It is clear this show is just trying to keep viewers there using popular guest stars as baits. The show sucks! There is not a nicer way to put it. Weak writing and even weaker cast. I only watched a couple of episodes this season , and only because Terry O'Quinn was there. It was a plus to see someone doing some actual acting there, but the rest was crap. They should had cast someone as Terry O'Quinn as McGarrett instead of that insipid Aussie guy , Scott as Danno is perfect and absolutely some Hawaiians in the main cast. As much as I like DDKim and Grace Park as actors , the team would had looked more realistic with some Hawaiian people there.
This show has been a big disappointment . I am not surprised it cannot even crack 11 million viewers.