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Hawaii Five-0 Review: Oh, the Horror

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"Ka Iwi Kapu" = Sacred Bones

This episode should serve as proof that TV shows should never attempt to capitalize on holidays. Even with a Halloween slant, the biggest horror on Hawaii Five-0 this week was the hour I spent watching it.

Let me be perfectly clear: this was the worst episode of this show I have ever watched. It can only be broken in to two parts, bad and worse. See below.

Robert Englund on Hawaii Five-0

BAD
First and foremost, the episode ended without a clear closure to the case we started on: Who killed Kat and Christian, and buried them? While it might have been the registered nurse who blew himself up, or the mortuary funeral director who was embalmed alive, the dialogue made it sound like these two were being paid by someone else who was severing connections by killing them.

Beyond the garbled story, we had a special appearance by Robert Englund, Freddy Krueger himself.. Sadly, as with previous guest stars, Englund had one important scene that lasted about five minutes where he was allowed to be appropriately creepy. That was it, aside from an intro. Why does Hawaii Five-0 continue to under-utilize such big names?!?

Additionally, this "Halloween episode" featured a bevy of classic horror movie tropes such as: no power for the lights in the funeral home, (but power to run the embalming station), bad guys climbing out of a coffin, and (my personal favorite) the team decided to split up and search alone, just to name a few. While any of these tropes could have been used for fun and could work in the setting of the story, putting as many as they did in went beyond insulting my intelligence - and straight into beating up my common sense. 

WORSE
The single most horrible aspect of this episode was Danny's role.  Given how hard we have seen Danny work to shield Grace from his bachelor lifestyle, there is NO WAY I would believe he would willingly take her trick-or-treating at a motel.

While I was still trying to let it go, he promptly went to a crime scene and desecrated sacred burial grounds in the name of "catching a killer" because he didn't want to wait for the priest to arrive and give blessing. Really?!? While Five-0 may take some liberties with the laws and conducts on the street, none of them has ever disregarded other cultural beliefs. This was a horribly written plot device to throw in "ghost" or "spirits" to make it fit into the Halloween theme.

If stomping over beliefs and embarrassing himself with his daughter wasn't enough, the powers that be decided this was a good episode for us to meet Dr. Gabby Asano, who Danny took on a date. Thankfully for Danny, much like Englund's screen time, Autumn Reeser only visited with us for about 10 minutes. Not nearly enough time for Danny to insult her heritage!

I know that many returning TV Fanatic readers will be disappointed that Lori only got bashed on the head (and wasn't killed by whoever killed the funeral director). I was personally glad she didn't get killed, but I also couldn't reconcile myself to the point that I could give a crap about what costume she had been in when the call came in about the murders. I know it was meant to be some comic relief, but when added to the other poorly penned parts of the episode, it just came off as forced and contrived.

There is good news, though, readers: Greg Grunberg guest stars next Monday night! Let's hope we see him for more than 30 seconds.

Review

Editor Rating: 2.8 / 5.0
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User Rating:

Rating: 3.5 / 5.0 (153 Votes)

Jim G. is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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I think this episode could have closed up a little better like showing who the other bodies that they found at the crime scene. I think that the scene that the gardener( at the end the dead gardener) was very cheesey the best thing they could think of was falling down an elevator shaft com on writers think of something better other that that I think that Hawaii five o is the best it has ever been.

Fortyseven

Badly written and plotted.

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Hawaii Five-O is the only show I watch every week without fail. I have to agree; last night's episode just didn't come up to its usual par. In fact, this season's episodes just aren't as good as last year's shows. Lori just doesn't fit in with any of the characters with the way they play it. Hope that improves as the season goes on!

Mrs-cleaver

OMG George, we get IT. Leaving 50 comments is not necessary.
Thought Danny taking his daughter trick or treating in the motel was lame, though I think it was supposed to be funny. Thought the scene where they were teasing Lori about her costume could have been done with Chin/Kono, no need for Lori.
Loved Matrix Max, good to see Fong - when are he and Kono gonna hook up anyway? (2 asians, playing right into George's theory - no need to comment again, we get it,see?)
Car-gument was ok, have seen way better ones. Disliking Steve sniffing around Lori, all concerned over her getting hit in the head (and bouncing up just fine 2 secs later-lame) but Kono gets shot a couple episodes ago and he barely even looked worried there.
Did like the final scene with them moving Danny in and them joking around about his big mattress and him finding out about the elderly lady ghost.
The writing is killing this show - makes me sad.

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Completely agree--What made Danny think it was okay to ignore his teams cultural beliefs--not the danny we know--get rid of the blonde, she is pointless--I don't care about her at all!! And hire someone to watch the storylines for inaccuracies!! Otherwise watch for that shark to jump!!

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LLJ: I beleive the writers are taking orders from the top. No interracial love interest means no interracial love interest. In fact, they dont need to have any love interest. They can be sort of like Criminal Minds or NCIS Los Angeles. No need to show any sex scenes. If Kono goes she should be replaced by another Asian or Polynesian, not by Lori. I personally think they are trying to push Kono and Chin Ho Kelly out and replace them with white actors. Hollywood has done it before and it will do it again!

Jimg

Hi Patti, It seems that the powers that be decided that Rachel and Danny should not be together and have written it so that the baby wasn't Danny's and she is trying to reconcile with her current husband. This episode actually marked the first appearance of Grace this season. Sadly, it was a disappointing cameo at best. Jim~

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did anyone notice that it was directed by Joe Dante?!

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Last nite wasn't their best show ever,but I do agree...NO one should call Danno that name except Steve and Grace. And what happened that I missed since last season when his ex-wife was with Danno when he was in the hospital?? Didn't Danno tell Steve they "were talking". don't want to see Danny with this blonde chick!! I really I've loved this show alot, but it's hard when you see it going to the tank. Also, is Kono leaving? Please writers, producers and powers that be....make the show like it was...don't fix stuff that isn't broke!!!

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The only things reviewer got right was yes, I hoped they killed off the blonce and no they don't use guest stars in story line enough. Get back to old show.

Hawaii Five-0 Season 2 Episode 7 Quotes

Lori: Why are you staring at me?
Danny: I'm imagining who Lori Weston's alter-ego might be.... Wonder Woman!
Lori: No!

Max: I came directly to work after a Halloween party.
Danny: Come on, you don't secretly have this thing where you live dressing up like you're in the Matrix.
Max: The two concepts are not mutually exclusives.

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