Does anyone else feel like they were just forced to shuffle up to an all-you-can-eat Glee buffet and stuff themselves full to the point of needing to unbutton their pants to make more room for Jake-and-Marley dessert? Because that's what I feel like just happened.
Coming off of "Sadie Hawkins," I wasn't sure what to expect from "Naked." As it turns out, I should've expected every possible story line they could've thrown at me and then some. And what's weird? I didn't hate the assault.
There were so many arcs happening tonight that it's kind of hard to know where to begin. I mostly enjoyed the episode because the majority of the focus was on McKinley, flitting to New York for glimpses at the "old" Rachel (from 8 months ago) and Brody's abs. Oh, and a surprise visit from Santana and Quinn. That was nice.
Unlike previous episodes where the writers have tried to create similar stories for Lima and New York (cough "Britney 2.0" cough) the nudity parallels between McKinley and New York worked this week because the subject was the same, but the scenarios were vastly different. All of the guys, save Artie, were willing to bare their chests for cash to pay for Regionals, and that makes sense because they're all egotistical high school boys who happen to think they're hot.
After being visited by the ghost of Rachels past, receiving a tongue-lashing from Kurt and having a chat with Santana and Quinn, Rachel couldn't go topless for her craft. And that makes even more sense because Rachel's craft is the stage and the student film in which she was cast wasn't the screen version of Equus.
The Men of McKinley calendar has nearly paid for the New Directions' bus to Regionals, thanks to Finn's blackmailing Sue to stay out of their way while selling it. (Please, please, if you do nothing else, go and read the morsels of Sue-y goodness on the Glee quotes page.)
Selling the calendar also caused Blaine to have a serious talk with Sam about Sam's obsession with his own body fat percentage.
Yes, I just typed that last sentence.
In yet another storyline, Sam and Brittany have received the lowest and highest SAT scores at McKinley this year. Sam believes that he'll never go to college and will only ever have his body and goes into overdrive with his workout regimen. This gives Blaine the chance to be a friend and take him to Emma Pillsbury, pamphlet queen extraordinaire, so that she can show him which colleges he can get into without an SAT score of any kind and also pass along information about scholarships to help him pay for it.
(Side note: Where are Sam's parents? Have they moved back to Lima? Is he still sleeping on someone's couch in a basement somewhere? Can we address this, writers?)
While we know that Blaine has a crush on Sam, Blaine went to bat for Sam as a friend to help him get himself and his future on track. He went so far as to record videos of the McKinley gang listing all the good Sam has done in his time there. It makes the Blaine-Sam crush seem as if Blaine has a handle on himself and his ability to recognize that this thing he has in his head is only in his head and isn't going to come to fruition.
Unlike Tina who went on a nice little tangent about Blaine's backside after saying he should be "Sexy Claus" and asking him to go shopping with her.
Tina: For the record, Blaine has an awesome body and a perky and delicious behind that looks like it got baked to perfection by some sort of master chef.
Blaine: Thanks, Tina. | permalink
Ugh. That story is perhaps the dumbest thing we've been dealt so far this season.
Other tidbits from tonight's notes:
- Jake and Marley say their first "I love you's" to one another. I can't hate on it too hard even if they've only been dating for a week because it was really kind of sweet to watch. There's something about the two of them together that I like. They work for me. And their rendition of Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years" was beautiful.
- If it's possible, I like Brody even less after this week, despite the fact that he has the best body of any current male cast member. Watching him waltz naked through the apartment and plop himself down at the table when we haven't even seen Kurt and Rachel have a conversation about Brody moving in makes me really dislike him.
- Quinn, Santana, and Rachel singing "Love Song" was a treat.
- Okay, so all of tonight's Glee music was pretty great. Yes, even the Nelly number.
- It was pointed out in the comments last week, but the New Directions bypassed the Amish school in their path to Regionals. I kept hoping for a one-liner explanation as to how that had happened and didn't get it. Weak, writers. Weak.
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.