On the same night Bravo aired the Top Chef finale, Willie and Jase went all Emeril Lagasse on viewers.
Oh, yes, Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 5 featured a cook-off between these two family members.
The two got into it over who makes the better burger, figuring the only way to decide for sure was to engaged in a cook-off. It's not about who is the better chef, Jase clarifies, it's about who is the better burger "eater."
Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.Jase
I have found ticks in my whiskers.Phil
What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?Phil
Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.Korie
She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.Gordon
I like sheep.Miss Kay
The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are boldly going where no redneck has gone before.Jase
They're not mad. These cows are crazySi
Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.Phil
If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.Jase
That's my crapper.Jep
You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.Kay
Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun.
Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.Jase
The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.Kay
Hey, I'm a math man.Si
Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.Jessica
Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.Jep
You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.Martin
One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.Wilie
I donât need baskets. Thatâs what women do.Jase
I love bringing old things back to life.Kay
What are y'all doing? Why ainât y'all working?Willie
When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.Jase
You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.Si
You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.Phil
The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.Phil
As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.Jase
She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.Phil
It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.Jase
So off to the store they go for ingredients, where Willie purchases "meat from a tube" (according to Jase) and Jase gets the butcher to grind up some ribeye for his delicacy.
We then return to the warehouse for the actual competition.
Who wins in the end? Viewers, of course, with Martin deeming Willie's burger a "mountain o'beef" with way "too much going on" and Jase's being so overdone that Martin spits it out.
The family members make the smart choice and head to a burger joint for lunch.
While all this is going on, Jep and Phil bond over the former needing to get some materials for Jessica's decoupage project.
This leads to Phil convincing Jep to clean out the shed in order ho haul away some recyclables, while Jessica and Miss Kay get down to the business of gluing and varnishing on a table. A table covered in rat pee-soaked newspaper, it ought to be pointed out.