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Gossip Girl Rewatch: Bonfire of the Vanity

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Inconceivable! 

Blair wanted to be an elegant lady like Grace Kelly by her 18th birthday. Did she succeed? Join us for the rewatch of Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 10 to find out!

After actually acting somewhat selflessly for at a point in Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 9, Blair refocused her attention on her favorite person: herself. After all, it was her 18th birthday!

Eleanor was shockingly going to be in attendance and even better she had her first serious boyfriend since Harold Waldorf left her for another man. Yes "Bonfire of the Vanity" marked the first appearance of the adored Cyrus Rose.

Though it wasn't love at first sight, Blair quickly realized that her mother's new man had real potential when he outmaneuvered her almost immediately. Touche Blair, touche. 

Blair: Screw Grace Kelly. I need a scheme.
Dorota: Oh no...
Blair: That tiny man must have a secret I can exploit.

Also, I loved her birthday outfit and how excited Dorota was to meet Cyndi Lauper. By the way, was Dorota just the more underrated character of all time? I think so.

Serena continued to date the most one note, boring loser of all time who thought he was too cool for school. I have a few things to say on this whole matter:

  • It really is unreal how quickly Serena falls for guys.
  • Who the hell leaves the house in a slip? Like her ass was basically out. It's a nice ass, but still.
  • Aaron sends Serena maps to all of his favorite places. She ended up in Times Square. Enough said.
  • The speech she gives him after he says this was so brilliant, I wish I had it written down:

Well, I'm seeing lots of people. I don't know how it works in high school, but I like to date more than one person at a time.

Aaron

Basically I don't have this word for word, but she told him something like "thanks for that condescending little lecture, but that's not what I'm interested in." 

From now on, every girl who wants more from a guy only to be made to feel like a moron for wanting to be exclusive needs to give that speech. I know I wish I had. And look, Aaron came back to her, voila.

Elsewhere, Dan realized that maybe he should take a cue from Jenny's balls of steel and go after the Chuck Bass/ Bart Bass story. He got pretty far until he remembered he had a conscience. Which is so contradictory because he was technically supposed to have been Gossip Girl that whole time...

Also no one should take advice from Jenny as she ended this episode homeless, with her designs burnt to a crisp, and debating emancipation. Seriously the only time emancipation ever worked was for Nathan Scott on One Tree Hill.

Speaking of...I'm thrilled to announce that we are kicking off a One Tree Hill rewind here at TV Fanatic! If you're in the mood for something a little more cheery, we also just started Gilmore Girls retro reviews. Last, but not least don't forget you can watch Gossip Girl online anytime!

So onto the poll of the week: Was Aaron Serena's most boring boyfriend?

 

Review

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Rating: 4.3 / 5.0 (31 Votes)

Leigh Raines is a TV Fanatic Staff Writer. Follow her on Twitter.

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Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 10 Quotes

Blair: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena: Who?
Blair: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!

Blair: Serena, I called you like 10 times last night! Where have you been?
Serena: I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday, I met Aaron in Times Square. B, it was the most romantic thing...
Blair: Who cares about plaque or pretentious artists when your best friend is having a meltdown!