Hank Moody is a man with writer's block.

Living in California, following a move from New York City, he has trouble balancing all the factors in his life: there's his struggling career, his relationship with his daughter and ex-girlfriend and, of course, his desire for beautiful women. Many come and go from his bed.

Moody also enjoys his drinking and his drugging. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Hank Moody Quotes

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody

It's true I am kind of retarded, but I'm also kind of amazing.

Hank

Californication Quotes

I feel like the good lord himself picked me up with his bare hands, laid me down on a bed of rusty nails, pinned my ankles behind my ears and just stuck it in. No Vaseline no lube no nothin. Not even a little spittle. That mother fu-ker just took his Darth Vader helmet, that big Darth Vader helmet and just rammed it home. He wrecked my pretty little virgin a--hole, my sweet little brown bud. Pulled out, came on my t-ts, wiped his di-k on the curtains and left me for dead. That's just me. How bout you guys?

Hank

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody