Atticus: The woman that you love is out there and you know you can't have her. How do you even get up in the morning?
Hank: Well the booze is always helpful and so is the art. Everything that I write is either for her or about her. So I'm with her, even when I'm not.

Hank: Have you heard from our literary pilgrim?
Karen: No, only what she puts up on Instagram.
Hank: Oh. What's Instagram?

Hank: We need to sneak some drugs into rehab.
Bates: That sounds fun. How can I help?

Nothing like a sweet little Charlie Runkle coming of age story, to make you wanna stab yourself in the dick.

The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.

Hank: Why are you living beyond your means?
Charlie: It's the only way I know how.

Hank: How'd it go buddy boy?
Charlie: I'm sitting in the dark in my underwear Hank, day drinkin'.
Hank: Got it.

I still think you are mean, petty and vindictive, but I'm thinking maybe we should hate f-ck? Get the poison out?

Why would I put some clothes on? This is the way baby Jesus made me.

I support you bromo-sexual.

Can I bring anything back for you damaged fu-kers? Some coke? Some heroine? Some Pink Taco?

I guess I see myself as an enthusiast. A drug and alcohol enthusiast.

Californication Quotes

Nobody likes you. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. Now smile, you f--cking douche!

Hank Moody

Try not to forget all the times I brought you to fruition. 33 to be exact.

Hank Moody