Lionel Hutz was the go to ambulence chaser of Springfield until Phil Hartman's untimely death in 1998.  Since then, this pathetic excuse for a lawyer has been retired and that's a shame... he was hilarious!

Lionel Hutz Quotes

I'm here defending you on the charges of . . . (looks at sheet) Murder One!? Even if I lose I'll be famous!

Lionel Hutz

(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.)
Lionel Hutz: It was a beautiful service, wasn't it, Mr. Simpson?
Grampa: (Yells) Who the hell are you?
Lionel Hutz: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I'm the executor of Beatrice Simmons' estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you.
Grampa: Really?
Lionel Hutz: There is one catch. You must spend one night ina haunted house!
Grampa: (Gasps)
Lionel Hutz: (Chuckles) Just kidding, just kidding.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer