Lionel Hutz Quotes
Season 5, Episode 20: "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"
Dr. Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and... Freddy Quimby has it.
Lionel Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case.
Judge Snyder: You rest your case?
Lionel Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 18: "Burns' Heir"
Lionel Hutz: I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 6: "Marge on the Lam"
Lionel Hutz: As of this moment, Lionel Hutz no longer exists. Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!
• Rating: Unrated
(Homer negotiates a baby-sitting rate with Lionel Hutz.)
Homer: We pay 8 dollars for the night and you can take 2 popsicles outta the freezer.
Lionel Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Lionel Hutz: Okay, two and I get to keep this old birdcage!
Homer: Done!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 5: "Treehouse of Horror IV""
Lionel Hutz: I was watching Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I got the gist of it.
• Rating: Unrated
Lionel Hutz: That was a right-pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as "an agreement under the law which is unbreakable." Which is unbreakable!
• Rating: Unrated
Lionel Hutz: First, some ground rules: Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Devil Flanders: Agreed! Number two, the jury will be chosen by me!
Lionel Hutz: Agreed. No, wait--
Devil Flanders: Silence! I give you the Jury of the Damned! Benedict Arnold, Lizzie Borden, Richard Nixon--
Nixon: But I'm not dead yet! In fact, I just wrote an article for Redbook.
Devil Flanders: Hey, listen; I did a favor for you!
Nixon: Yes, master.
Devil Flanders: John Wilkes Booth, Blackbeard the Pirate, John Dillinger, the starting line-up of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers!
Simpsons: Ahh!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 21: "Marge in Chains"
Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 16: "Duffless"
Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 13: "Selma's Choice"
Gladys: Now let's get down to business. (Voice changes to Lionel Hutz) To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: MR. HUTZ!
Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works, you really would!
• Rating: Unrated
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 16