A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon

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Sheldon Cooper Quotes, The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Episode 18 Quotes, TBBT Quotes
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The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Episode 18 Quotes

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side.

Sheldon

Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Wolowitz: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.