Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

If you ever bully another kid again, I'll come back and butt fuck your father with your mother's headless corpse on this god damned lawn. Twelve years old my ass. Fuck you.

Ray

He's your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes.

Klaus [to Caroline]

[ending voiceover]
Mouth: Take a look at yourself in a mirror who do you see looking back?
Haley: Is it the person you want to be?
Dan: Or is there someone else you were meant to be the person you were meant to be but fell short of?
Mia: Is someone telling you you can't or won't? Because you can.
Chase: Believe that love is out there.
Nathan: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life.
Julian: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Brooke: Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Peyton: So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that.
Lucas: And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Young Michael Jackson: The kid in me likes the frosted side.
Adult Michael Jackson: But the grown-up in me likes the kid in me.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron

Cartman: I'll make you eat your parents.
Ms. Choksondik: What did you say?
Cartman: Nothing

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted

Robin: Let's make a pact, if we both turn 40 and we're both single..
Ted: Robin Scherbatsky, will you be my backup wife?
Robin: A girl always dreams of hearing those words. Yes, yes, a million times, yes!

Oh, my sweet summer child! What do you know about fear? Fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep; fear is for the Long Night, when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little Lord.

Old Nan

There is a prophecy. The man who doesn't perish at the blade of Ra'a al Ghul will become Ra's al Ghul. Ra's al Ghul doesn't offer, he orders. Oliver! Don't delude yourself into thinking you have a choice.

Malcolm