Agnes Skinner Quotes
Season 21, Episode 16: "The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"
Ned: Now let us download the holy tweet of the Lord.
Agnes: Stop making this relatable!
Jimbo: Hey, as a youth if I don't hear a computer word every couple sentences, I am out of here.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 12: "Boy Meets Curl"
Agnes [in flashback]: I was in love with a soldier boy on leave from Korea. It was a fifties style of romance, five minutes of sex and a lifetime of regret. He went back to his war and I went back to my dream of pole vaulting in the Helsinki Olympics. But there was a bump in the road, a bump named Seymore.
• Rating: Unrated
Agnes: Where did you learn to sweep like that?
Marge: I've been training all my life. I once swept red wine off a white carpet.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 20, Episode 6: "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words"
Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!
Principal Skinner: You called?
Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
Principal Skinner: My mistake.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 2: "Lost Verizon"
Principal Skinner: I can't believe I'm out of gas. I put in one dollar of gas and I've only driven ninety cents.
Agnes Skinner: You had to drive with the windows open, didn't you, Rockefeller?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 1: "Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes"
(Principal Skinner treats Superintendent Chalmers to dinner at his home.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour, those string beans were cooked to perfection. After 20 years, I am finally starting to like you.
Principal Skinner: Just wait for dessert, sir. I made it with you in mind.
Superintendent Chalmers: Outstanding. I'll just shut my eyes and let you place it before me.
(Selma's erotic cake accidentally flies in through the window and lands on the table in front of Chalmers and Skinner and the two recoil in horror when they see it.)
Agnes: (from upstairs) Seymour! What's going on? I'm coming down there!
Superintendent Chalmers: Quick! We'll have to eat from each end. We'll know we're safe when our lips meet in the middle.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 18: "Any Given Sundance"
Principal Skinner: (to Lisa) Seymour Skinner never puts all his eggs in one basket. That's why they call me "Two Basket Skinner." (pause) What? They do.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 19, Episode 14: "Dial N For Nerder"
Principal Skinner: Martin Prince was known by many names. Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartsin Prince, Martin the Brown-Nose Reindeer...
Dolph: That was mine.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 19, Episode 13: "The Debarted"
(After the Diet Coke and Mentos explosion.)
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! (Pause) Skinner?
Principal Skinner: I'm alright, sir.
Superintendent Chalmers: Don't ever scare me like that again.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Superintendent Chalmers: We're gonna put Bart Simpson away for a long, long time.
Principal Skinner: By law, the most we can give him is a 10-day suspension.
Superintendent Chalmers: That's long to a kid.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 74