Creed: I still have my medal from that.
Angela: Do you even have a mattress?
Creed: No, but I still have my medal from that.

Angela: The only people that need to be there are you and me.
Dwight: Oh and the old man to feed us the cheese that he's been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him.

Oscar: Angela you still have your son.
Angela: I guess.

Angela: I bet she'll eat them right out of your hand with those big strong teeth.
Dwight: Did I tell you about her teeth?

Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.

Angela: Someone say something.
Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. Now look what he's doing to us.

Angela: Well I think it would be immoral for Erin to cheat on Andy.
Erin: Oh I'm sorry. Didn't you cheat on Andy?
Angela: Yes, and he didn't like it.

Angela: If you pray enough, you can turn yourself into a cat person.
Oscar: Those guys always turn back, Angela.

Trust you? The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work?

Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs.

She just always has to copy anything I do. It's the Ford Taurus situation all over again.

Pam: He talked about himself in the third person?
Angela: Yes Pam, not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. Oh hey Pam, dude. Wanna marry me?

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy