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It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter. One me leaves!

My spirit blood is on your hands.

I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.

His nickname around the office is Softypants McHuggable.

We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turd burger.

Ann: Before I write that letter, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
April: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ann: No, you have to be my friend.
April: Ugh, that's so much worse.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford, "Hilary Clinton is great!"

I don't know who Ann Taylor is but I hate her and want to kill her.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.

Future home of Paunch Burger? Start drooling, fatties?

When Andy proposed to me, he gave me a ring pop, but he ate it first. How did Ben do it?

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 117 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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