I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

This comes from your mother’s butt.

Principal: How old are you?
April: He’s 33 and I’m 47/Immortal.

I’m just an impartial bunny, but I think Ann sucks! And also, I’m the Zodiac Killer!

Leslie: Now is lady time.
April: You sound like a tampon commercial.

Leslie: What’s the 411? Who you crushin’ on these days?
April: Ew, my husband, weirdo.

Ann’s leaving town. Ann’s saying painful goodbyes. Greatest day of my life!

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April: Babe, wake up!
Andy: That’s my spaghetti, Chewbacca.

April: Favorite book?
Donna: Downton Abbey.
April: That’s not a…
Donna: Downton. Abbey.

April: Every year we would dress up as demons and we would egg Larry’s house.
Larry: That was you?
Chris: Please, Larry, this is a private conversation.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April