Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.

I'm sorry, is your name Jennifer?
Tyynifer. No, it's Tyynifer with two ys. It used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to re-brand myself. Oh wait, it's Xanax-o'clock.

I'm April Ludgate Kvorkian.

Andy: I have no idea how to run a nonprofit.
April: Hey, you shined shoes for two years and never earned a profit.

To be perfectly honest, Mouserat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to like German death reggae, Halloween sound effects from the 1950s, and Bette Midler. Obviously.

April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.
Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!

It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter. One me leaves!

My spirit blood is on your hands.

I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying.

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