Chicago has a lot of stuff and people, but I like to nothing and hang out with no one, so no thank you. And I love you. But no thank you.

Andy, I was nice to Larry. I scratched his back and had a conversation with him! It was horrible! How could you do that to me?

Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!

I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

This comes from your mother’s butt.

Principal: How old are you?
April: He’s 33 and I’m 47/Immortal.

I’m just an impartial bunny, but I think Ann sucks! And also, I’m the Zodiac Killer!

Leslie: Now is lady time.
April: You sound like a tampon commercial.

Leslie: What’s the 411? Who you crushin’ on these days?
April: Ew, my husband, weirdo.

Ann’s leaving town. Ann’s saying painful goodbyes. Greatest day of my life!

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!