Do you want me to bite him?

Andy: That book sounded so boring I almost cried a little.
April: Aw babe I'm sorry you had to hear that, you're safe now.

Ben: You're my friend.
April: No I'm not, I've never cared for you.

Oh, you know, just regionally directing the midwest whatever of who cares.

April: My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine?

I love her SO much. I hope she's my real mom.

Andy: We are responsible adults, you know what that means right?
April: I know.
Andy: That means we have money and we're going to buy the f*ck out of this house

12 closets, 3 bomb shelters, 5 dumbwaiters, 2 3/8ths bath, no kitchens. Fairly standard layout.

Andy

April: I guess I could pick up a brisket tomorrow and start it for dinner Thursday.
Andy: Oh Thursday's no good - I have production meetings ALL day. And we have dinner with Joe and Donna on Friday. Hey, you know, Sunday. We could go to the farmer's market, put the brisket in the slow cooker, get a movie on payper view - the new Jason Borne movie is supposed to be pretty funny.
April: AHHH!!

Chicago has a lot of stuff and people, but I like to nothing and hang out with no one, so no thank you. And I love you. But no thank you.

Andy, I was nice to Larry. I scratched his back and had a conversation with him! It was horrible! How could you do that to me?

Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy