Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

Andy: God, I swear.. it's almost like they don't want you to win.
April: Well, you better practice. You gotta win me a teddy bear.
Andy: I'm gonna win you a million teddy bears.
April: Well, I want a billion teddy bears.
Andy: Well, that's a little unrealistic. This is a hard game.. Two million.

I’m going to murder you a thousand times!

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

I love games that turn people against each other.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.

April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 117 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.