Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks-and-recreation

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

I love games that turn people against each other.

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.

I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.

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