Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.

Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

I love games that turn people against each other.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you.

April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!


Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.