I love games that turn people against each other.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

I gave my gay boyfriend's boyfriend a hickey and it totally made my gay boyfriend jealous.

April: I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys. you ready?
Ron: I was born ready. I'm Ron F*%king Swanson.

Parks & Rec Quotes

We get to do work worth doing, alongside people we love.

Leslie

I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.

Mark