Favorite Artie Nielsen Quotes
Artie: Claudia, you're going to write down the license plate numbers.
Claudia: As you bark 'em out.
Artie: What do dogs do when a car zooms off?
Claudia: They chase them.
Artie: Yes, and what do cars have on their back bumpers?
Claudia: License plates! So maybe the dog has the license plate and can tell us - and that's where all of this falls apart!
Artie: How long did you have before the warehouse was gonna explode?
Pete: Under a minute.
Claudia: More like thirty seconds.
Artie: That's lucky. I once got there with 17, and (Mrs. Frederic's) voice gets really annoying when she's counting down the seconds one at time.
This is Adwin Kosan, he is on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know.
Pete: I would be honored to have a life like yours.
Artie: I would be honored if you'd try for a little more.
Artie: Listen Bismarck, until you came in things were fine.
Fargo: That's Fargo.
Artie: Resurrection is a dangerous practice and always comes at a price
Pete: Yeah, look at Mickey Rourke.
Claudia: Artie can I talk to you about something?
Artie: Will it make me feel old and uncomfortable?
Artie: What's next?
Leena: Devil's Lake Country Club.
Artie: A Jew and a Black Woman go to a fancy country club. All we need is a priest and a horse and we could do the whole joke.
Google-schmoogle, I'll still with paper.
Artie: Ladies first.
Myka: What? Uh, yeah, age before beauty.
Pete: What? He's older than me. He's older than both of us put together.
Artie: All right, shut up. Hold that. Children. I'm working with children.
Myka: So what about Paul Bunyan's axe, or David's slingshot?
Pete: Or how about bag of magical beans?
Artie: We got the axe, we got the slingshot. The beans, please - that's just a fairytale.
Pete: It's good to know where we draw the line.
